Brenda's Bicycles

 

Yesterday, as I pondered how to spend my afternoon, I felt an internal pull to see the movie “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” Having seen the trailer several times while in Utah, there was no doubt that something about the movie profoundly intrigued me.

 

Yes, Cozumel actually has a new theatre complex, with eight modern screens. One might actually believe he or she was in a small stateside theater if not for Spanish speaking employees and signs. Everything in the complex is new, clean, and fully air conditioned.

 

Sitting in the comfort of my kitchen, I used my tiny laptop to browse to the theatre’s website at www.cinepolis.com.mx. While initially scanning the movie names, I was saddened that none of the movie titles looked like “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” Knowing that some Spanish titles differ greatly from the original, I began clicking on each currently-showing movie.

 

“Yes” I exclaimed, as I finally clicked on the last movie in the list. The movie was “Te Amaré por Siempre,” which translated literally means “I will love you forever.” As I released the mouse button, a window popped up on my computer screen, displaying an English movie poster with the words “The Time Traveler’s Wife.”

 

A few hours later, as the girl behind the counter handed me a ticket, she quickly rattled off a couple of sentences in Spanish. My silent reaction was “huh?”—but I actually ‘kind-of-sort-of’ understood the general message—just not the individual words. She was showing me a two-for-one coupon for salads at some restaurant and telling me that my movie was in theatre five. Deciphering spoken Spanish is still my most difficult language hurdle.

 

Eagerly waiting for the movie to begin, I was not quite sure what to expect. “Will this movie be fully dubbed with Spanish voices? … Or will it be in English with Spanish subtitles?” While prepared for either, I was eagerly hoping for subtitles.

 

Finally, after a series of Spanish language commercials and promotions, the moment of truth arrived when the opening credits finished scrolling by.

 

“Yes,” I rejoiced, “they are speaking English.”

 

I have found that reading subtitles is a great way to practice vocabulary, grammar, and verb conjugations. I will occasionally spend a lazy evening sprawled out on the sofa in front of my television watching a variety of American shows with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly, I get so involved trying to read the Spanish subtitles that I am not even paying attention to the spoken dialog. What a great way to pick up a few additional Spanish skills after a long tiring day.

 

The metaphysical twist to the movie intrigued me from the very beginning. If you have seen the preview, you know that the main character has a condition that causes him to travel back and forth in time. With no ability to control his travel, he usually jumps to different eras at the most inopportune of times. In his travels, the main character meets and befriends a young girl in the past, who eventually becomes his wife in the present. While living in the present, his past and future selves often enter the scene, causing some quite unexpected twists as the story unfolds.

 

Joyful tears streamed down my cheeks as the closing credits began their final parade across the screen. What an incredible exploration into life and unconditional love! And then there is the metaphysical twist of how our future literally changes the past, while at the same time the past influences the future—yet all we really have is the wonderful and magical present moment.

 

I won’t ruin the movie for you, but I will highly recommend that you see it.

 

Julie and Julia

 

Another movie that I just loved was Julie and Julia. I had the pleasure of viewing it with my friend Michelle on the day before my son’s wedding. What a beautiful exploration into having the courage and conviction to follow your own heart and dreams—in spite of what other naysayers around you might be saying or thinking. Understandably, I was particularly inspired by Julie’s genuine experiences in blogging her journey.

 

Like Julie, sometimes I wonder if anyone out there is reading my words. Yet, my passion to write is so strong that I would be typing page after page on my laptop regardless. I do want to add that I love hearing feedback from others regarding how my words have influenced or inspired them.

 

During my struggling years, movies used to be an escape from reality—a place where I could forget my real-life struggles.

 

Now, as I progress down my beautiful journey of self-discovery, I go to movies for an entirely different reason. Movies help remind me of the metaphysical nature of our reality, reinforcing that I am the creator of what I see and perceive—not just in the movies, but also in everyday life.

 

While in a theatre, I love to explore my internal reactions to every situation—whether it be violence, comedy, horror, romance, tragedy, love, crime, adventure, travel, or whatever. Yes, movies are a kind of playground where I can practice modifying my filtered lenses—altering my attachments and perceptions—shifting them from fear into love.

 

Independence Day

 

During my childhood, one of my four favorite holidays was always the Fourth of July. This year, with living in Cozumel, combined with traveling home to be with my mother, my only Independence Day excitement occurred at 30,000 feet, looking out into the darkness through airplane windows, as I witnessed a spectacular display of flashing lightning. Or was it my only celebration?

 

This week, I have noticed several vendors in the local markets, beginning to sell large quantities of Mexican flags and other red, green, and white patriotic memorabilia. Last night I inquired of a new American friend, “What’s up with the flags?”

 

I was soon filled in on a few basic details regarding the upcoming Mexican Independence Day celebrations that begin on the evening of September 15 and continue through September 16. From what I was told, the locals love this holiday, and exude a powerful display of excitement and patriotism.

 

I apologize in advance, because my information is second-hand and likely misquoted, but what was told to me is this. On the evening of September 15, the townspeople gather for festivities at a large open square adjacent to the “Palacio”, the government buildings in town. Late that night, the Mayor of Cozumel will shout out the traditional chant, “Viva Mexico,” which was a famous rallying cry on the eve of the Mexican battle for independence. Then the city will be treated to fireworks, followed by all night partying (horns honking, dogs barking, private fireworks, etc…) throughout the streets.

 

I am intrigued at the thought of this new cultural experience. How exciting it is to open my eyes to “how little I really know” regarding the larger world around me. My entire world view has been shaped by my large and thick “red, white, and blue” filters.

 

How refreshing it is to recognize the patriotism and genuine love in others, no matter what their nationality. My heart swells with additional love as I practice seeing into the hearts of others, beginning to understand life through their “red, green, and white” filters.

 

The Trap of Routines

 

As I ponder my eating habits, I realize that I am beginning to be a routine-robot with my food. In my first few weeks living in Cozumel, I passionately explored different restaurants and markets with an air of wonder. As I stepped into unfamiliar ground, testing unknown foods, each new experience was significant and “in-the-moment.”

 

Lately, I find myself falling into predictable food ruts, with most of the sense of wonder being long gone. Yes, I seem to have resumed merely eating out of necessity.

 

For breakfast—if I even eat in the mornings—I eat a simple pastry or cold cereal.

 

A late lunch, at an inexpensive restaurant, seems to have turned into my main daily meal. Out of convenience, I often find myself stopping at one of several familiar places—with my most common stop being the sports bar operated by my English speaking friends Agi and Roger. While I continue to consume a variety of new dishes (the specials of the day), I seem to have ceased my intentional explorations into new foods.

 

For dinner, I usually prepare something simple at home—macaroni and cheese, peanut butter sandwich, scrambled eggs, pancakes, spaghetti, leftovers, fruit, or even yummy frozen Ego Waffles that I found at the Mega Store.

 

As I write about my eating, I am feeling almost embarrassed. “Where did all of my food excitement go? …  Why am I in this rut? … What happened to my passion for new eating experiences?”

 

The answers to these questions are complicated, involving a variety of factors such as cost, convenience, familiarity, and even laziness. While I still need to contain cost and eat conveniently, I am making a publicly written commitment to mix up my eating a little more. Yes, I will add a little more variety to my daily habits.

 

Life Lessons From a Lizard

 

As I ramble on, systematically beating myself up over this topic, I am struck with the awareness that maybe I am approaching my self-reflection all wrong. In reality, “living in the moment” does not require that I do new things every day. Instead, I need to approach every situation, even routine every-day events, with a feeling of presence and awareness. The routines in and of themselves are not bad—it is the mindlessness with which I perform them that keeps me stuck.

 

My lizard friend just waddled back out onto the plaza. Weeks have passed since I last observed him. As he contently zigzags back and forth, checking out every little potential treat on the concrete squares, my wise friend seems to be reminding me to follow his example.

 

As he wanders in search of his own food, he is performing the same routine, eating the same food that he eats every day. As he engages in his activities, he is indeed centered in the moment, fully aware of everything around him. He doesn’t whine and beat himself up regarding a lack of variety in his diet—he is just being who and what he is.

 

“Can I practice performing routine tasks from this same state of complete mindful awareness—just like my lizard friend?”

 

My answer is an enthusiastic “Yes.”

 

No Comprendo

 

Sometimes I get impatient with myself, thinking “I should have learned more Spanish by now … I should understand native speakers more easily … my Spanish conversational skills should not be so weak.”

 

Perhaps I should stop “should-ing on myself” quite so much.

 

Subtracting the twenty-five days that I have spent on my two side-trips back to Utah, I realize that I have actually only been in Cozumel for less than seven weeks. Considering all factors, including how much time I spend in writing and other activities, I believe that I am doing remarkably well with my language progress.

 

While still being weak in some vocabulary, I have already mastered the basics of regular verb conjugations in all fourteen tenses. In addition, I have learned the concepts of present and past participles, and have a great grasp on the command forms of most verbs.

 

My almost-daily studies have also led me to memorize many of the irregular verb conjugations, with my memorization efforts being continuously ongoing. Yes, my vocabulary increases on a daily basis, and I am consistently improving in my grammar skills.

 

In the midst of all my blog-writing and little mini-adventures, I make a very conscious effort to devote a considerable quantity of time to language study. My internal voices make it very clear to me that being fluent in the Spanish language is an important part of my yet-unknown future.

 

Lately, my studies have found me mostly devouring my verb-conjugation book—but I also take advantage of every opportunity—such as conversations with Miguel, television shows with subtitles, reading everything I see, and day-to-day interactions with strangers.

 

Yes, in my early days in Cozumel, the phrase “No comprendo” (I don’t understand) was indeed a very frequent experience. I am proud to say, that although progress may be only gradual, I am indeed working hard and continuously growing in my language competence on a consistent daily basis.

 

Copyright © 2009 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved