Sun Spots: Episode 7
(As per my post “Finding The Balance”, all of my blog entries up through the end of my Sun Course (Sept 21) will be raw journal entries. I want to continue writing, but will not have the time to do so in my normal polished manner.)
Friday, July 23 – 3:30 p.m.
This five day silence is turning out to be an experience where I take advantage of my permission to do the “Sun Course with an Attitude” – spiritual permission that was given to me by inspiration during the last day of my Moon Course as I struggled with not really wanting to participate in this three month retreat.
The meditation assignments for our five days of silence and fasting do not seem to connect deeply with my heart. I have tried to focus on my assigned meditations, but my heart wants to go deeper in other areas – deeper into exploring my energy, increasing my sensitivity to the energy that flows within me.
* * * * *
Yesterday (Thursday) morning I spent several hours perched on a straw mat atop a rock at the top of the hill just west of San Marcos. I began by immersing myself in our assigned meditations regarding one particular sphere of the tree of life, but found myself instead connecting with nature throughout much of the day.
A beautiful tiny five-petal violet flower with a drop of dew glistening in the center captured my fancy. Then there was the small cluster of seed pods arranged in incredible geometric shapes. Why do some of them only have four perfectly arranged slits while others have five, appearing like a perfect five-pointed star? Then there were the bees and the moths that were working busily around the flowers. One particular moth fascinated me with the way he instinctively danced from flower to flower while gracefully inserting a three-quarter inch tube running from his mouth down the center of the flower’s heart.
But I also had a few problems yesterday. While I was being silent around others, I was talking to myself quite frequently. I like to sing to myself and I often talk to spirit with an out loud voice, I like to do this when I am meditating in nature. For some reason, verbally speaking to Spirit helps me to focus. Several times later in the day, as I was around people, I accidentally spoke a word or two out loud. I was so accustomed to speaking to myself that my consciousness was not fully focused on the silence.
I also fudged a little on my diet. I loved the nourishment of my two juices and my one bland soup – but as evening rolled around I found myself cheating with a banana and a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter. I may or may not do the same this evening – but I will probably take my fast much more seriously beginning tomorrow.
Last night during meditation, and then later as I contemplated writing in my journal, I was a little bit off. I was disconnected and lacking spiritual focus. As I stared at my laptop with intentions to write, I first delayed by playing one game of Spider Solitaire. That one game turned into two, then four … and well, you might know how it goes. I finally turned off my computer at 10:00 p.m. having written absolutely nothing at all.
* * * * *
This morning, I awoke around 5:00 a.m. from a very interesting dream – a dream involving sprinklers watering a beautiful green lawn and a beautiful spotted jaguar (or possibly leopard) that was walking around drinking water from the sprinkler heads. In some strange way, I was watching the large beautiful cat from what felt like a space of protection – sort of like hiding under Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. While I watched, I was listening to an out-loud documentary flowing into my head telling me why it was not a good idea to allow jaguars to drink from your sprinkler heads in your yard.
Instinctively, I reached out and disabled each sprinkler head as the beautiful cat began drinking. Each time the large cat moved on to another water sprinkler, I again magically shut it off. Soon the jaguar was right next to me. With my invisibility blanket still around me I reached out and began to playfully wrestle with the cat – at which point I woke up.
I have not yet made any attempts to interpret this interesting dream – but nevertheless, the dream fascinated me. I made a valiant attempt to re-immerse myself back into the dream, wondering if it might be possible to re-enter it with a state of lucidity that I have still been unsuccessful in achieving. By 6:30 a.m., after my unsuccessful attempt in re-entering the dream, I was in a deeply meditative state – a state in which I committed to myself that I would remain all through the day.
I realized that yesterday’s problem was that I was not fully focusing on what my heart wanted to do – I felt distracted by my assigned tasks. I made a deep personal commitment that today would be a day of living in the presence – doing what my heart wanted me to do rather than doing what someone else told me that I was “supposed” to do. I also committed that I would not speak out loud, even if just to myself or to Spirit.
After yoga and then my 9:00 a.m. juice, I isolated myself in my room with intentions to remain here for the remainder of the day – except of course for my remaining soup/juice and pyramid temple meditation schedules.
As I lay back on my bed with my obsidian sphere and a few other crystals, I focused on remembering my second experience with the Chocolate Shaman. I began to finely tune my sensitivity to the energies that I felt flowing through me. First recognizing them, then concentrating on them, and eventually relaxing into them. In an experience that amazed me, I began to feel intensely pleasurable energy that seemed to be gently exploring and opening my lower chakras. I’m sort of embarrassed to say this here, but the energy sensation was nearly orgasmic, much better than sex. I would highly recommend it.
During the second half of the morning, I found myself meditatively napping half way between two worlds – only stirring briefly for a couple of restroom breaks. I continued to feel the energy, but in a much milder way, and I felt as if I wanted to make an attempt at further dreaming – hopefully lucid.
I could go on, but there is not much more to say other than that my day has been incredibly relaxed and energizing, filled with presence and peace. Starting in about twenty minutes I head out for evening meditation, after which I plan to once again simply enjoy my spiritually intimate exploration of the energies within. I have no attachments to outcomes; I simply love the experience of seeing what energizing gifts come my way as I make myself open and available.
Saturday, July 24 – 6:45 p.m.
It has been a great day … yet I feel a little off … a little disconnected. This morning after yoga and juice I spent two hours in my favorite spot up on the hill to the west. I felt some great energy up there, but the energy slightly dissipated as I followed a prompting to study for the last hour. Perhaps I need to learn how to study without losing the energy.
I began studying the signs of the zodiac (astrology) and the planets as they all fit into the Tree of Life (Kabala). This afternoon, after soup, I did more studying, but this time I was out on the lawn near my private pyramid.
Our weather has been beautiful for the past couple of days – warm and sunny (or course the mostly rainy days that we have been having are beautiful too). I loved spending time this afternoon in the sun as I continued to study, study, and study.
While the studying is technically a no-no during meditative silence, I followed my promptings and did it anyway. What I learned today actually helped me connect with our meditation oracle cards tonight (after 4:00 p.m. juice). The oracle cards were indirectly related to the zodiac signs, and they tied right in with what I have been pushing into my brain.
Yes, it has been a great day, but today’s studying was not the most energizing of things to do, and it makes me wish I was deeper into energetic meditation. Yet I was following my promptings – promptings which told me to fill my head just a little fuller.
And then there is the mild hunger. In case you can’t tell from my above writing, my mind is subconsciously thinking about food. Two juices and one bland runny blended carrot soup just do not fill the tummy, and I do not want to repeat the sickness/weakness that happened after my Moon Course fasting … so tonight I cheated just a little (just like last night). I gobbled down a delicious (just one) peanut butter and honey sandwich on whole wheat bread – and I don’t feel the least bit guilty (but I do still feel hungry, which is good).
I have been having several weird dreams per night, but still nothing worth mentioning, and still no lucidity in those dreams. I simply trust that I will receive whatever I am ready for, exactly when the time is right.
As soon as I finish this rambling, I plan to spend my evening seeing if I can connect with a little more of that amazing energy … following which I plan to go to bed quite early. I seem to remember my dreams more when I am quite rested by the wee morning hours.
Monday, July 26 – 4:30 p.m.
Sunday was a beautiful meditative day. In the morning I spent three hours high up on the hill to the west of town, meditating on a straw mat with a beautiful view of the lake and distant volcanoes. During this meditation, I felt especially close to spirit – to nature, to the energy around me, to the spirit of the Tree of Life, to virtually everything on which I focused my mind
Also in this meditation, I finally connected to our assigned Tree-of-Life tasks for the retreat. But I did the meditations in my own way, experiencing them in a powerful emotional way without writing a single word in my notebook. I am quite happy with the results.
In the afternoon I returned to my room and meditated for another couple of hours, this time meditating on the microcosm of the Tree of Life – in other words, meditating on how the tree relates to our physical body and our own personal states of consciousness as well as referring to the macrocosm which is the Universe and its creation. For a while I felt a deep internal and electrically energizing connection to my meditations, but after a while I realized that I had done all I could handle in one day.
I am rapidly learning that Spirit likes to play treasure hunt with me. One day I can have a powerful and energizing connection with the divine. On the next day, as I repeat the exact same steps that brought me to spiritual bliss, those steps don’t seem to work at all. Instead, I have to go deep within and listen to new promptings, doing new things, in different ways. The process is quite challenging, yet quite fun.
Later in the afternoon, after reaching a point of meditation burnout, I again hit the studies quite hard, doing a lot of memorization around the twelve signs of the zodiac and the planets and how they relate symbolically and energetically into the Tree of Life. It sounds quite boring as I write about it, but yesterday as I read and studied I felt as if the whole set of associated symbols was beginning to come alive in amazing ways. I had no idea how the symbolic energy of the planets ties in so harmoniously to the symbolisms of the Kabala.
* * * * *
Last night (Sunday) at 6:00 p.m., I participated in another beautiful ceremony in the large pyramid temple. This ceremony was for the Full Moon – as well as being the graduation of the current Moon Course group. I am sad to see this Moon Course group move on, as I have grown quite attached to many of them.
At around 8:00 p.m., I joined a large group of friends in a celebratory break-the-fast dinner, ending my minimal-diet fast in style. But I did not make the same mistake that I made after my own Moon Course two months ago. At that time I had pigged out on pork ribs and ended up getting quite sick for about ten days. Sunday night I ate a very bland plate of rice with some steamed vegetables along with a delicious fruit smoothie.
* * * * *
It seemed quite strange this morning (Monday) as I intentionally skipped Yoga for the first time since beginning this retreat.
As you might recall, I had a severe bout with what I believe to be bed bugs during my first week of the Sun Course – a week in which we were in silence. At that time I had lovingly begged Irma in the front office to swap mattresses with one from a different empty room – which she reluctantly allowed me to do. I later figured out that the blood-thirsty bugs were in the old quilted blanket that I had been using at the time – not in the mattress itself.
But this discovery was too late. My original mattress itself had been a very comfortable one. The replacement mattress that I had received in the swap turned out to be extremely uncomfortable for sleeping. By the time I figured this out, someone else was already sleeping on my old comfortable mattress.
Over half of my new replacement mattress was very hard with firm ridges that pushed into my body at all the wrong places. The remainder was caved in and sagged excessively, providing very little support while slanting at a steep angle toward the edge of the bed.
I believe that much of the back pain that I have experienced – back pain regarding which I have continued to keep a positive attitude – was related to this mattress. Several times, I tried turning the mattress over, swapping ends, sleeping on this half or that half, sleeping at an angle, etc. Finally, I had found a position with a slight twist where my body did not totally ache – but my sleeping space was very restricted and still involved a steep slope, making comfortable sleeping quite challenging.
Anyway, this morning I had made private arrangements with a woman who was sleeping in the room with my original mattress. She and her roommate had finished the Moon Course and were moving out. During normal morning Yoga time, I made a quick swap (with my friend’s help) back to my original mattress. In doing so, I didn’t bother to get permission from the front office. I didn’t want to give them a chance to say no.
At 10:00 a.m. after finishing my first post-silence class, I came back to my room and fell in love with my former mattress. My new bed feels like heaven after what I have been sleeping on. I know that I could have survived on the other uncomfortable mattress – but I decided that since I will be here for two more months that it would be wonderful to have a comfortable, soft, and level place to lay my head (and my achy back).
Today felt quite strange as we resumed a normal schedule of eating and participating in classes. I tried to study for most of the day, but repeatedly found myself visiting with others – both with outgoing Moon Course graduates and with fellow Sun Course friends. Nevertheless, I did manage to squeeze in considerable study time as well.
Tonight is a free night – no meditation for the Sun Course, because the new Moon Course group is having their first introductory session with Chaty. It looks as if this new Moon Course is going to be a huge group. I have heard rumors that as many as 20 people will be here to participate. All I know for sure is that I have seen a great number of new faces walking around the grounds all throughout the afternoon.
I look forward to getting to know many of this new group, but will only have two and a half weeks to do so. It is hard to believe that my Sun Course will go into our final 40 days of silence starting around August 12 – a date that is rapidly approaching – a date that I eagerly anticipate.
But that is all in the future, and I am trying to live in the present – and I am hungry. It is time for my evening tradition: two peanut butter and honey sandwiches and a banana. Yum yum.
Wednesday, July 28 – 1:00 p.m.
Monday evening, as I went to bed, I was overcome with frustration regarding a recent return of Unidentified Biting Objects (UBOs). During the previous several nights I had been visited with numerous of these UBOs who had left a wide variety of rose-colored crop circles on my chest, back, and arms. I had just crawled under the covers on my new heavenly mattress replacement when I succumbed to the itching madness.
Don’t ask me why, but normally, I like to heat up my itchy bug bites either in a hot shower or using a hair dryer. For some reason, when I apply heat to an itch, I feel a pleasurable sensation as the itch momentarily intensifies and then seems to relax and calm. But Monday night I could not use my hair dryer. I had burned it out early in the day when I was using it to overheat the seams of my replacement mattress – just in case there might be any bed bugs or eggs hiding out in my incoming mattress. My hair dryer is now ready for the recycling bin, and I was too lazy to go for a hot (sometimes) shower.
As I lay in my bed, repeatedly trying to relax and breathe calmly, I invariably returned to itch-and-rub mode, furiously agitating the itching bites. I probably only had ten or fifteen of the little red bumps, but they itched more profoundly than most other bites I have previously encountered.
As I popped an antihistamine into my mouth (my first in a quite some time), I decided it was time to quit fighting this battle on the physical plane and to instead look for a spiritual answer. Since I have been having so much fun lately as I learn to use Tarot to gain insight, I opened up my little deck of cards to see what insights I might be able to gain into my ongoing bug-bite battles.
Rather than using a full spread of cards, I simply used my intuition to select three cards. The first card indicated a mental battle was coming to completion. The second and third cards were major arcana cards – the Justice card (signifying non-judgment) and the Temperance card (signifying learning to be in a state of complete inner peace no matter what is going on around me).
I smiled with peaceful amazement as I realized intuitively that the message for me was that in order to end my mental conflict with the bug bites I had to give up all sense of judgment regarding them as good or bad, and to instead learn to find absolute emotional peace in the midst of the experience.
In many ways, this message reminded me of the words of my Olmec Shaman friend that helped me last November in the jungles of Ek Balam (north of Valladolid in the Yucatan). He is the one who held me in his arms as I sobbed with fear after receiving a third-degree burn at the hands of another loving Zapotec healer. He is the same beautiful man who spoke those amazing words to me, saying “Brenda, there is a huge difference between pain and suffering.”
Yes, my bug bites were creating great pain (itching), but there was absolutely no reason for me to be suffering about them. Suffering was a choice – a choice which I could now choose to no longer make.
After my Tarot reading, as I went into meditation on the issue, I realized that I have suffered from emotional fears regarding spider bites for most of my life. My first major episode of such bites began when I was a young pre-teen, sleeping in the basement of our old home in Central Washington State. I had been the “victim” of a body covered in itching red mounds, and developed a deep and never-resolved fear of that experience repeating itself. It was also at that same time that I learned that heat applied to my bites helped to sooth my suffering.
My most recent two attacks of the itching red circles had been during my Mayan Village stay in Belize and during the first week of my Sun Course. In both cases I had begun to suffer extensively before centering myself in a temporary mental/spiritual solution. The thought of going through the experience for a third time in four months was unnerving.
As I meditatively pondered about these recurring past fears, and the idea of no longer “choosing” to suffer, I found a magical space inside of me – a space that seemed quite familiar once I finally opened the door and immersed myself into the soothing comfort to be found inside.
The space was one of deep peace and bliss. I laughed at myself as I once again returned to the idea that every one of my bites is a blessing – the gift of a free allergy shot so to say. With each little bite I was receiving a dose of allergic toxins which would help my body to build up immunity and/or tolerance to such toxins in the future. The concept was so easy for me to relate to, given the fact that only sixteen months ago I went through a three month course of expensive allergy shots (which I prematurely interrupted in order to begin my present travels).
To my utter amazement, I have not received one new bite in the last three nights. Yes, the present bites on my chest and underarms continue to itch quite vigorously – but I no longer give the itching any power over my firmly-rooted peace. At least for now, I have learned another lesson. I no longer judge these bites as bad, and I have developed a great deal of Temperance – giving me peace regardless as to what happens.
* * * * *
Earlier on Monday, I had engaged in a fascinating discussion with Leif – one of my fellow Sunnies. He is someone with extensive meditation experience in the past, and I am someone who has never, ever meditated in traditional ways (prior to my Moon Course).
I explained to Leif that I still did not feel as if I really knew how to meditate, and asked him if he could give me a few pointers of what to do and/or how to do it. During that conversation he greatly inspired me in several areas. One of those areas was to actually focus more heavily on simply watching my breath with absolutely no other motive. Whenever I have tried this in the past, it has seemed to be such an utter waste of time – time that I could be using to focus on spiritual issues and questions. The idea of simply sitting while attempting to have an empty mind just did not connect fully with me. Invariably, whenever I have tried this in the past, I have struggled.
After talking to Leif, I have begun to do a waking meditation wherever I go. For two days now, whenever I am not actively engaged in eating, studying, conversing, writing etc…, I am focusing on my breathing. I am still in my infancy with this, and have already noticed a great increase in my state of peace. I feel as if my energy vibrations are much more elevated and spiritually inclined than ever before.
Leif inspired me to try something which seems extremely daunting to me. As soon as we begin our 40 days of silence and meditation (in a little over two weeks), I am going to see if I can go for three days while simply focusing on my breath – with no active thought processes. I know this will be a journey of attempts and course corrections rather than a destination to achieve, but I am actually quite excited to try it – to see what might actually happen. In the meantime, I continue to focus on little steps that will prepare me for the bigger journey.
Leif also greatly inspired me in the area of overcoming my physical pain during cross-legged meditations. After about twenty minutes, my hips begin to ache and one foot begins to go to sleep. By around twenty five minutes the pain becomes so intense that I would break my position in an attempt to find physical peace. Now, I have found the determination to push through that pain from a state of Temperance and detachment, observing the physical sensations without allowing myself to suffer as a result of them. Several times in the past two days, I have managed to make it for the entire 30 minutes without flinching or moving. I know that the more I develop this mind-over-physical skill, the more my peace will continue to grow.
* * * * *
Yesterday (Tuesday) morning, in our 8:30 a.m. class, I participated in another practice Tarot reading with Sandra. This time it was her turn to do a reading on me, and our assigned practice spread (layout) of cards was one based on the Kabalistic Tree of Life.
For the most part, I was amazed and deeply encouraged by the clarity of the reading – a reading which was a general reading about my current progress in my growth process through the Sun Course. But one of the cards was slightly confusing, and I in turn drew three additional cards to seek clarification on the meaning.
Sandra’s interpretation of the cards was not fully resonating with me, but neither was my own … and I needed to dig deep inside to finally figure out what the cards were telling me. One of the cards was implying that I am dealing with deep emotional struggle, yet the other two cards implied successful release of all judgment and great emotional clarity. Finally, through listening to my intuition, the real issue soon came to the surface. The actual interpretation was remarkably similar to what Sandra was originally trying to say.
My relationship with my children is still a great source of guilt and confusion on my part. I continue to be deeply affected by ideas and beliefs that were implanted in my head as a child – ideas that a good parent maintains a close relationship with their children, being there for emotional support, being an integral part of the lives of the grandchildren, maintaining frequent contact, etc … and the list of guilt-based beliefs goes on.
I know with all of my heart that these beliefs – beliefs that are based on traditional societal roles – are still nothing more than beliefs – shoulds and musts that subconsciously spur a great deal of guilt in my internal psyche.
If I look back on my own adult years, I was very independent from my parents, and never felt a need for them to fill such a role for me (in fact I put a wall up preventing them from being able to fill such a role). Yet I apparently still believe on some subconscious level that I should feel guilty for living my own separate life and not fulfilling such a nurturing role for my children – even though all six are grown up and very happily married, leading productive, independent, and exemplary lives.
On the other hand, my internal promptings are extremely clear that I am being guided on a very different path – a path that does not involve the sort of frequent family involvement that my “internal belief systems” tell me I should have. My intuition tells me that my future paths will be very much non-traditional as far as the belief systems of my youth.
One emotional memory that came up in my Tarot reading is the fact that whenever anyone begins to ask me pointed deep questions about my relationship with my children (including such a conversation less than two weeks ago), I tend to sink into a place of sadness and near depression – mainly because I know that my prompted path does not line up with my internal guilt-ridden belief systems.
I feel a profound and beautiful love for my children, and I feel that same love coming back at me from them. There is not doubt in my heart that their love for me is as profound as is mine for them. But at the same time there is deep awkwardness in our communication – given the fact that there is such a gulf in our religious, spiritual, and physical paths.
Just last Saturday I received a short, but beautiful and loving email from my former spouse – a letter actually thanking me for my financial support through all these years, and wishing me success in finding the joy and happiness that I am seeking. I was filled with deep gratitude on reading those words, realizing that the Universe had blessed us both with a loving perspective about what is taking place between us. For the first time in many years, I felt deep peace and closure regarding the paralyzing issues that have haunted me – issues which I faced head on with loving balance just a couple weeks ago.
But as I discussed my feelings with Sandra in my Tarot reading, my intuitions became intensely clear with the fact that the next emotional hurdle through which I need to pass is facing the emotional sadness that I feel regarding my relationship with my children. The clarification cards that I drew clearly implied that I need to stop judging myself regarding my confusing emotions, and that I am on my way toward receiving great emotional clarity and closure in this issue. I am excited to see how I might continue with this emotional processing. I fully intended to begin meditating on it yesterday, but my day was so amazingly full after leaving class that I never had a spare minute to do so.
* * * * *
After a quick breakfast, I checked my emails and found a lovely note from my dear friend Conny from Germany – a spiritual-based friendship that I developed while recovering from my burns in Valladolid last December. I was thrilled to learn that she has followed the longings of her heart, quitting her job in Germany, moving to Valladolid, and beginning her own internal journey of learning to trust and to follow her heart.
As I finished reading her email, I felt a prompting to make a few Skype phone calls – and my internet connection seemed to be quite stable and high-speed – something which has been very rare as of late. I tried to call my friend Michelle and another friend back home – but Skype simply refused to ring the phone on the other end even though my internet connection was perfect.
As I was aborting my second attempted at calling Michelle, I noticed that at that exact moment, my friend Conny came online in Skype. My promptings told me to try calling her to see if it would connect, and five seconds later we were having a delightful video chat. It was so amazing to reconnect after these past seven months in which we have only had a few very brief email exchanges.
As soon as I finished my call with Conny, I again tried Michelle, and to my delight the call went through flawlessly. For nearly two and a half hours we engaged in deep spiritual discussions filled with incredible growth, inspiration, insights, and intuitive connection. Many times I was brought to tears by the deep spiritual insights that Michelle shared with me, and she commented about the deep energy that she felt flowing through her as we talked. Michelle and I have adopted each other as sisters. We are exactly three days apart in age, and we seem to have a deep past-life soul connection that continues to deepen with each communication.
The only time our internet connection phased out is when our discussion started to go to non-spiritual topics near the very end. We literally were unable to hear each other for about 30 seconds. As soon as the connection came back, we both realized that we were not supposed to have that other side-conversation. For fifteen more minutes we continued our amazing spiritual interchange before we both knew that it was time to hang up and move forward with our day.
Amazingly, not more than a minute after our call ended, my internet connection returned to flaky mode, and has been flaky ever since. There is no doubt in my mind that our quality connection was preserved for us so that we could engage in a deeply connecting conversation that was absolutely meant to happen. As I shutdown my computer and prepared to run off to lunch, I was floating in the clouds as a result of the high energy vibrations running through my soul.
But my amazing day was not over. I continued to focus on my breath as I walked to lunch at one of my favorite eating spots. As soon as I entered the restaurant, I bumped into Jody and Scott, two of my dear friends from the last Moon Course. To make a long story short, I ended up having a two hour conversation with Scott in which I once again shared my life story and exchanged stories with him regarding our spiritual journeys.
After meditation, I was on fire with energy and anxious to begin writing about my day, but as fate would have it, many of my Sun group decided to go out for a movie (video) night at a local restaurant – and my promptings told me to embrace the chance to further bond and socialize.
* * * * *
Today, Wednesday afternoon, I finally found the time to catch up on my writing. I continue to watch my breath during all of my idle time, and am feeling an amazing presence of peace and calm resonating with me wherever I go. That state of presence seems to constantly invite more and more spiritual and social connection.
Everything seems magical right now. This afternoon, as I took a break from writing, I again returned to my favorite lunch spot. The owner (an American blues-musician and former cabinet maker named Carlos) and I have been briefly chatting off and on over the past few weeks. Today, out of the blue, as I walked into the restaurant, we somehow got onto the topic of Spirituality, and he asked me if I had read a few of his favorite spiritual books. To make a long story short, we ended up engaging in a delightful hour-long discussion on various spiritual topics.
It seems like the more I raise my vibrations, the more my life seems to respond with magical radiance.
All I can say is “Bring it on…”
Thursday, July 29 – 8:00 p.m.
Last night, a woman from the former Sun Course – a woman who is now one of our yoga teachers – invited all of her old Sun Course who just finished in June (at least the ones who are still here) to come over for a potluck dinner. As a side note, she decided to also invite our current sun course to join the social outing.
What a delightful evening it was. Early on, Sandra and I got started talking to each other, sharing spiritual stories, recent experiences, and spiritual insights with each other. Our high-energy conversation went on for what must have been two hours, deeply energizing both of us. I have said this before, but I will say it again. I am so thrilled to have my continuously developing friendship with Sandra. At the mere age of 23, she is an incredible, wise, ancient spirit. She is definitely my teacher – but I would like to think that we are inspiring each other.
As I retired last night, I felt as if my batteries had been fully charged, and extra electricity was overflowing and spilling out everywhere. I was spiritually on fire – so on fire, in fact, that I had a hard time relaxing enough to drift off to sleep.
* * * * *
I have been feeling slightly under-the-weather all day today, and as a result my energy vibrations have been somewhat off-kilter. I have slight intestinal cramps and embarrassingly horrid smelling gas – but I have managed to mostly hide that fact from others (until now that is LOL).
The day has been mostly good, but my ability to concentrate and focus has been taxed. Nevertheless, I enjoyed this morning’s Tarot practicing, and I am loving the process of immersing myself in a book called “The Kybalyon”, based on the ancient teachings of Hermes Trismegistus. I read this book quickly one time during my Moon Course and was very pleased by how much in line the teachings dove-tailed with my “A Course In Miracles” beliefs. As I read today, I picked up a great deal more insight and look forward to continuing tomorrow. I am anxious to do some deep meditations on some of the concepts that are jumping out at me.
Tonight, after a slow and lazy afternoon, I stopped by the home of the local doctor (the only doctor in town) to ask about getting tested for parasites. Tomorrow evening I will get the results. I have felt for over two weeks that I am again coming down with another infestation of the persistent little intestinal creatures. Things like Giardia, Amoebas, and other similar parasites are extremely common here in San Marcos, especially with the foreigners. Most of the locals have built up long-term tolerance of the little organisms that infest the water supplies here. Even though I only drink bottled water etc…, it is very easy to pick up the bugs when eating in places where dishes that have been washed in tap water are not thoroughly dried before they are reused.
Tonight I plan on crawling under the covers of my bed quite early. I am eager to have a new and energizing start tomorrow.
Copyright © 2010 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved