(As per my post “Finding The Balance”, all of my blog entries up through the end of my Sun Course (Sept 21) will be raw journal entries. I want to continue writing, but will not have the time to do so in my normal polished manner.)
Saturday, July 31 – 7:00 p.m.
Yesterday (Friday) was one of those beautiful days in which I felt loving peaceful energy radiating from within my soul throughout the entire day.
I began the day with an incredible experience. I awoke at 4:15 a.m. from what was a very vivid and LUCID dream. My memories from the dream begin in Panajachel – the main town on the other side of the lake where most visitors first approach Lake Atitlan. To my surprise, I was walking around the streets with my daughter-in-law, my oldest son’s wife. We were happy and having a fun time together. At one point she asked me if I would spend the day with her, helping her to distribute her merchandise to various locations around the lake. Apparently she was some type of wholesaler with goods to deliver to various people in various villages such as San Marcos and San Pedro.
After telling her “Yes, I would love to help you,” I followed her down a path toward the lake. As we approached the wooden docks, I recognized them as being the private docks on the south side of Panajachel.
“These are not the public boat docks.” I told her. “The boats here are more expensive, and do not run as often. We should go over to the public docks.”
She just smiled slyly and indicated that we were not going to be taking a boat. She was going to use a sling shot to send the merchandise across the lake. Reaching into her pocket, she removed an average-looking sling shot, along with two small square cubes. She placed them both into the leather pocket of the slingshot and pulled it back, preparing to launch the cubes out into the sky above the water, aiming toward the far side of the lake.
Intuitively, I strongly recognized that “this is not normal,” and I very calmly became fully conscious that I was inside of a dream – recognizing that the unfolding events would not be possible in waking physical life.
Even though I was fully conscious, the dream did not end – I was still 100 percent in the dream – just fully aware that it was a dream.
As my daughter-in-law launched the two cubes out over the water, they began to fly across the lake, and magically expanded into what looked like two huge shipping containers – the kind that are used on cargo ships and on railroad cars.
I felt mischievous and decided to have some fun. Focusing on the two shipping containers with my mind, I caused them to explode over the middle of the lake. I felt my daughter-in-law’s shock as large chunks of metal plummeted toward the lake waters below.
Before she became too distraught over her losses, I again pulled out my magical powers and mimicked Yoda from Return of the Jedi. With the power of my mind, I focused all of my efforts with my hand outstretched. After intense concentration, I watched as the broken pieces of metal emerged from the depths of the lake, flew back up into the air, resumed their former shape of shipping containers, and began again their journey across the lake.
Immediately, I lost interest in the game playing as I remembered that Chaty had instructed us that when we wake up in a dream, we should try to go somewhere such as the pyramid temple. Almost immediately upon remembering Chaty’s instructions, I focused intently on the thought “Take me to the (pyramid) temple.”
As I did so, I felt a surge of energy build up in my body. I immediately realized that I was about to astral travel from my dream to another place. My friend Sandra has done this many times now, and she coached me to be sure to concentrate my vision on a single spot so as not to lose consciousness and fall back into the dream state. I glued my eyes on a distant cloud and focused with all of my might. For what felt like ten or twenty seconds I felt the energy building and focused my entire attention to the task of staying awake.
I felt myself freeze up slightly as I mistakenly speculated that I was sitting up in bed while meditating, and that if I were to astral travel then my body would fall over and might hurt itself. Seconds later the energy buildup fizzled, my dream went dark, and I realized that my attempt had failed. To my surprise, I realized immediately that I was not sitting up in meditation – I was instead safely lying on my back, still in my bed.
There is no doubt in my mind that I was already awake long before my dream ended. I was fully conscious from the moment that my daughter-in-law loaded the two cubes into her slingshot. When my dream ended and I opened my eyes, the only thing that happened was that my visualizations ended. There was no transition of consciousness – I was already fully conscious – I simply had a slight awareness issue regarding my starting position in bed.
As I sat up and wrote down the amazing dream experience, I was ecstatic with joy. This is the first Lucid dream I have had since the silly one I had during my moon course on the very first night that I tried to practice Lucid dreaming in early May.
* * * * *
It was not until today (Saturday) that I realized another interesting “synchronicity” regarding yesterday’s dream. But to explain, I need to first establish a few background facts.
In August of 2008, my channeling friend, Trish, first told me about my three spiritual guides. It was during that amazing channeling session that she gave me a necklace that she had purchased in Park City many years prior – a necklace to which she had never really connected – a necklace that my guides told her during the session that she had actually purchased so that she could eventually give it to me.
For the majority of the past two years, I have worn that necklace 24 hours a day, seven days a week. But during my first few days of the Moon Course, Chaty had instructed us to not bring any metal into the pyramid temple (unless it was something that we always wear).
Even though I always wore my necklace – and it had a deep spiritual significance to me – I decided to stop wearing it so as to not have the appearance of breaking any rules.
I again wore the necklace during the few weeks between the Moon Course and the Sun Course – but again I took it off on June 21. A few days later I decided that I wanted to start wearing it again, but in a freak accident while moving about my room, I caught the thin silver chain on the corner of a piece of furniture and it broke. I no longer had a chain on which to wear the circular pendant, and I simply set it aside, telling myself that one of these days I would figure out how and/or where to get the chain repaired.
Wednesday (three days ago), as I was talking to Michelle in that amazing two-and-a-half hour energizing conversation, she out-of-the-blue asked me about my necklace, telling me that she was deeply prompted to tell me that I must wear it all of the time. At her insistence, I placed the circular pendant in my left hand. As I did so, Michelle began to deeply connect with the energy of my necklace (remotely), telling me that she was feeling electricity run through her body as she was being guided to tell me how important it was for me to wear it. She told me that the pendant was made specifically for me, that Trish had spiritually charged and guarded it for me, and that it was now my companion, my partner, my equal, in my spiritual journey.
After that amazing experience with Michelle, I wandered out into San Marcos and found a local French-speaking artisan who sells jewelry on the main sidewalk thoroughfare. I asked her to make a braided cord for me out of reddish, greenish, and tan macramé threads. The colors would match the center emerald and the six surrounding rubies at the end of each of the six silver spokes.
Thursday morning, I eagerly sought out the same artisan to pick up my new necklace. From that moment on, my precious necklace has not left my neck for more than a minute or two. Thursday evening was the first night in which I have slept with my pendant around my neck in quite some time – and it was that same night (early Friday morning) in which I had my Lucid dream.
Coincidence? I believe not.
* * * * *
The second highlight of my day was two deeply spiritual conversations on Skype, one with my friend Rose in Utah, and the other with my friend Pyper in Washington State. Both conversations were overflowing with incredible two-way inspiration. Spirit was truly a guiding force through both discussions.
In my conversation with Rose, we spent more than half of our time discussing my recent internal growth journey in lovingly dealing with my promptings regarding support payments. Her inspired feedback helped me reach a deep state of clarity and peace regarding that difficult emotional trek. It was immediately after that beautiful chat with Rose that Pyper called me back. Amazingly, my usually-flaky internet connection again remained strong and true.
Pyper – a dear friend from my Master’s degree internship – contains an internal wealth of knowledge about topics related to Incan Shamanism. She is a deeply spiritual woman who has studied the spiritual traditions of the ancient Incan’s for many years. Pyper and I usually only talk once every few months, and I wasn’t going to try to contact her again until after my Sun Course in late September, but for some reason she left me a voicemail earlier this week, indicating that she really wanted to talk to me before I go into my upcoming 40-days of silence.
I just smiled inside, because I realized that the primary reason for our call would be for her to help me to interpret my Jaguar dream from July 23rd. In April, Pyper had been a great help to me in interpreting my Snake dream – the dream that I had in Flores, Guatemala just after my weird experiences with the Mayan man in Tikal who called himself a Shaman. At that time, Pyper had given me incredible insights into the sacred Shamanistic symbolism of Snakes, and she had also helped me to add great spiritual perspective regarding my experiences in Tikal. As that April conversation had neared conclusion, Pyper had told me that she was anxious to hear about any future dreams I might have related to Jaguars – another very sacred animal in Incan Shamanism.
In my recent (first and only) Jaguar dream, the beautiful spotted creature was walking around suburbia on a green well-groomed lawn, drinking water from sprinkler heads. I was hiding under an invisibility cloak, listening to a male voice narrate what sounded like a documentary about why one should not let Jaguar’s drink from their lawn sprinklers. One by one, I magically reached out with some type of wand or stick and shut down each sprinkler head from which the Jaguar attempted to drink. Finally, I playfully reached out (still under my invisibility cloak) and began to wrestle with the Jaguar right before waking up.
After sharing my dream with Pyper, she explained to me that Jaguars represent grace and impeccability. They are a very sacred animal in Incan Shamanism, being the Queen of the jungle. They go up high, and sit in the tops of the trees, rising above what does not work for them, observing the activities that go on below, gathering information, being fully aware of everything going on around them – but for the most part simply observing without being “part of” those ongoing events. Jaguars always have what they need, having the internal skills and strength, and the support of their environment. While the Jaguar’s strength frightens other animals, the Jaguar only uses that strength when necessary, using it with its characteristic grace and impeccability.
After giving me background on Jaguars in general, Pyper began to interpret my dream. I literally loved her insights. Everything she said felt deeply inspired and rang true in my heart. She suggested that the Jaguar represented me in “God form”, walking through suburbia – my old stomping grounds – symbolizing my existence in two worlds. Pyper also suggested that the suburbs themselves, and the “me-that-was-hiding-under-the-cloak” were also representing different aspects of my self. She speculated that the strong male voice running through my ears in the form of a documentary about Jaguars and sprinklers was my former intellectual male voice and that the water coming from the sprinkler heads represented femininity and emotion. Then Pyper added that when I lunged out and began to playfully wrestle with the Jaguar, this represented the fact that I now feel safe playfully engaging with this more divine part of myself, knowing there is nothing to be afraid of – that nothing can hurt my true self.
Then the real insight flooded through my soul as Pyper intuitively suggested that this dream was representative of the way in which I handled the recent support-payment situation with my former wife. Suddenly everything made sense. The surroundings of the dream were quite similar to the environment where my former wife still lives. In dealing with the incredibly difficult emotions (water), I acted with powerful grace, impeccability and loving emotional strength. My old logical voices were playing like a recording in the back of my head, but I used my loving spiritual strength to playfully engage with my higher self.
What makes the whole dream seem like magic is the fact that the short beautiful email that I received from my former spouse – the one that literally blew me away with gratitude as she thanked me for my financial support over the years, wishing me the best in my future journey – was sent the very next day after this dream (exactly two weeks after I sent my inspired and love-based response to her).
* * * * *
As I talked more in my Skype call with Pyper, after we finished discussing my Jaguar dream, she felt deeply prompted to read to me about the spiritual significance of emeralds and rubies – the two types of jewels on my pendant.
I was scribbling furiously to take a few sketchy notes as she read the descriptions to me. This is more or less the highlights of what she told me – at least the parts that jumped out at me – but my notes were incomplete at best.
The emerald is a stone of successful love, sensitivity, and loyalty to self. It helps to enhance memory, and to stimulate mental capacity. The emerald encourages integrity, making a right choice to be the only choice possible. Emeralds open and activate the heart chakra, quiet the emotions, create harmony, stimulate subconscious, and help to access the laws of the universe.
The ruby also stimulates the heart chakra, helping to create a loving emotional side, spiritual wisdom, nobility, mental concentration, and gentleness. The ruby is a shielding stone, and is said to represent a rise from martyrdom, anguish, distress, and suffering. It has been used in the “casting of lots” to help in resolving questions. It protects against unhappiness, lights the darkness, brings birth to the spark of life, creativity, expansiveness, refinement of will as a love based force, and is used in rebirthing and releasing blockages.
As I listened to these amazing descriptions of the beautiful jewels that adorn my precious spiritual pendant, I made a commitment to myself to wear my necklace everywhere – with the pendant right over my heart – only removing it for bathing or swimming, or if otherwise prompted.
* * * * *
Friday evening I was faced with another task – a visit to the home of the only doctor in town – a visit to inquire about the results of my parasite test. At around 7:30 p.m. on Friday night, I learned the exciting news.
I am the proud host to every type of Uninvited Intestinal Creatures (UICs) for which I was tested – these being a healthy and thriving mixture of Giardia, Amoeba, Roundworm, and miscellaneous bacteria.
The Giardia greatly reduce my ability to digest and absorb food. The Amoeba have a fun tendency to spread throughout the intestines and the rest of the body, causing all types of fun symptoms, and the roundworms love to eat away my nutrition while laying thousands (up to 200,000 per day) of eggs in my intestines. These little worms, if not treated, can also escape to other parts of the body and wreak havoc.
Amazingly, my symptoms were not all that noticeable – other than the loose stools and extremely unpleasant intestinal gas. I suspect that I have been carrying these little nutrition vampires for quite some time – and I highly suspect that I was already playing host to them in late May, even when my parasite test at that time came up negative.
Regardless, I am happy and content. I am not really sick, and am eager to complete my medical treatment to rid these little UICs from my body. Even with my poor digestion, I have great energy. I can only imagine how much additional energy I might have when I no longer have thousands of little protozoa and worms competing for my precious nutrition.
I love the local doctor here (Dr. Alfredo). His office is actually in San Pedro, but he lives here in San Marcos, and sees local patients during the evening hours. When he discovered that he did not have enough of the two medications that I need in stock at his home, he walked with me over to the only pharmacy in town (at 8:30 p.m.). This pharmacy is a family business, run by his wife – but is closed most of the time when I walk by it.
As Dr. Alfredo unlocked the pharmacy’s exterior door and fiddled with the light switches, he discovered that the electricity was off. He jokingly commented that there is a switch over in the park that children sometimes play with. When that switch is flipped in the wrong position, the pharmacy does not get power. Holding my flashlight for him, I illuminated the shelves until he located the meds that I needed. After paying him my 75 Quetzales (less than $10 for the meds), I thanked him for his help, and was on my way. I will be taking one of the meds for three days, and the other for seven days. In ten days I will have another parasite test to see how/if the treatments worked.
The parasite test itself was 20 Quetzales ($2.50 US). It was not until I was almost safely back to my pyramid that I realized that Dr. Alfredo had never asked me for a dime for his own time. He had simply charged me for the test and the medicines. What an amazing man.
.
* * * * *
Today (Saturday) has been a very weird off-feeling day. After Yoga and class time, I was intending to spend my day studying. But after breakfast, I first tried to make a couple more Skype calls to other dear friends. My attempts at conversation were unsuccessful, and an internal feeling was saying that today was not a day to make any additional attempts.
While I did get some studying done, and I also made some preliminary preparations for some artistic charts that I plan to make of the Tree of Life (during my silence), I continued to feel quite spiritually detached into the early afternoon.
At 2:00 p.m. I participated in a group Acupuncture experience that lasted till after 3:30 p.m. – but again I continued to feel separate and spiritually disconnected.
It was not until meditation tonight that I finally turned my spiritual connection back toward the light. The final half of this meditation involved oracle cards – cards that were based on the Hindu Bhagavad Gita. The one which I intuitively chose was called “Pure Devotee.”
As I meditated on the card, I memorized the short text of the sacred verse that was being quoted:
“The thoughts of my Pure Devotees dwell in me, their lives are surrendered to me, and they derive great satisfaction and joy, enlightening one another and speaking about me.”
As I internalized these words – words that were at first quite confusing – they soon began to sing to my heart and soul. These words so beautifully describe the journey on which I find myself. My entire goal is to be a “Pure Devotee” – to devote myself to my higher power, to my journey of self discovery and divine connection. With all of my heart, I try to focus my mind and thoughts onto my divine source. Yes, I have many times liker earlier today where I struggle to feel connected. But for all practical purposes, during the past couple of years, I have literally surrendered my life to my inner guidance – and there is no doubt that I thoroughly love to engage in spiritual interactions with others – interactions in which we speak about our divine paths and strive to inspire those around us with the light that we continue to discover inside.
Yes, as I left meditation this evening, I was back in the spiritual groove. I once again felt a peaceful familiar energy running though my soul as I walked through the medicinal garden and placed my hands on the bark of my favorite tree. As I sat down at my computer to write about these past two days, the writing (which has taken three hours) has literally energized my very being.
I love how the Universe works.
Copyright © 2010 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved