(Note: Due to more problems with my subscription service, I again deleted my last photo post and am reposting it as two smaller ones. Hopefully, this will solve the problem again.)
During my first week visiting friends and family in Utah, I found myself continuing to cycle in deep inner work processing. Through a series of unexpected intuitions, some coming through me, and a few inspired by friends, I felt strongly guided to go to “Build A Bear” and create myself a cute little teddy bear — one who would represent my inner child. As the metaphor unfolded, I soon found myself taking this little bear to the place of my birth, in Grand Junction Colorado. It was a journey of profound healing … a journey of going back in time to rewrite emotional wounds.
The photos in this post are from that journey on November 19, 2012.
As usual, the photos in this post are thumbnail images. Please click on any photo to enlarge it. The thumbnails leave much to be desired as far as colors and resolution – plus the thumbnails clip all of the edges. I use thumbnails for the post itself, because it gives people an opportunity to get a summary glimpse without downloading huge amounts of data for the high-res photos.
CLICK ON ANY PHOTO TO ENLARGE TO HIGH RESOLUTION
Birth And Back Again
After getting up early on Nov 19, 2012, I was on the road with a mission. My little “Bobby-bear” and I are off to do some inner-work together. It is around 6:00 a.m. when I head south on the interstate highway.
About five hours later, I pulled into the hospital of my birth. Back in 1955 it was quite different than it is now. Even though it is a very different place, it will do just fine.
The emergency room entrance sign. I don’t know for sure, but I do know from reading old journals and family letters that I was a breech baby, and I was scheduled for a C-section. But for some reason, I was born the night before the scheduled surgery. I can only assume that I surprised my parents and messed up all their plans, causing an early emergency visit to the hospital.
I entered through this entrance. Intuitions told me it was the closest to where I was actually born in the old, smaller hospital.
Same view, just panning to the left of the entrance.
Once inside, I approached a security guard, explained that I was looking for where Maternity and Delivery might have been back in the mid 1950s. She gave me turn by turn directions, doing so with confidence. I followed those directions to the core of the hospital.
And up the Colorado River elevators.
This is Bobby bear. He was excited to visit the general area of his birth. We found what intuitively felt like the right place to visit, and we sat down and did beautiful inner work for about 30 minutes, meditatively re-experiencing our birth and first two weeks in the hospital. (My mother tells me that she was required to stay in a hospital bed for two weeks after my birth … and I can only assume that I spent that same two weeks in the hospital nursery in a sterile hospital bassinette.)
Bobby in full size. He is just over a foot tall. He has been an amazing companion in my inner work year, still serving me in beautiful ways.
When I picked him out at a “Build-a-bear” workshop in a Utah mall, I specifically chose him based on his eyes and glowing smile.
After some beautiful healing time at the place of my birth, the next stop was my childhood home. I lived on Bunting Avenue.
Driving down the street, less than a block from the home where I spent my first ten years. This neighborhood has countless memories. Bobby and I drove slowly, reminiscing and healing, bringing new loving energy to old events and times.
This is the home were i grew up. It is now a different color, and the yard is quite different, but it has the memories just the same.
I parked in front of the house as Bobby and I spent most of another hour revisiting one old memory after another, bringing healing energy to each.
Looking to the right side of my old house, at the neighbors. Two twin boys (Tom and Ron) lived here. They were my age, and I used to play with them a lot.
I then drove away in a different direction, exploring the old streets while headed toward my elementary school. This photo is looking west from my home.
And this one is looking east.
This is my childhood elementary school … the place where I attended through fourth grade. Just like before, Bobby and I spend considerable time here, bringing light and love to old memories.
A section of the school in back. I cannot remember exactly which classrooms were mine, but I believe I attended fourth grade in this wing.
This is a separate little classroom, all by itself across the playground. I attended second grade in this classroom.
One last glimpse through a fence, showing the play area. It is totally different now, but I still remember hours of playing in this location.
Next stop … back to my old neighborhood. When I was around nine years old, I used to go around the neighborhood taking on odd jobs to earn money — usually mowing lawns. This building used to be a 7-Eleven convenience store. I have clear memories of working here, sweeping the parking lot for 50 cents. In fact, on one hot summer day, I got heatstroke working in the hot sun. The owner told me that when I was old enough to hold a job, that he would hire me. We moved before that ever happened.
As usual, Bobby and I revisited old memories here.
This photo is taken of the buildings where there used to be a small candy store. I clearly remember my father taking me here on my fifth birthday to buy some candy (with the twist that I did not then know it was my birthday). After buying some candy and walking the two blocks back home, everyone jumped out and yelled “Surprise, Happy Birthday”.
We called it the “penny candy store” because you could buy candy there for a penny. I am not sure if the store was where this Fed-Ex now exists …
… or if it was in this side of the building which is now a couple of small restaurants. Perhaps the old building was actually demolished and replaced with all of these. I may never know.
Next, I set out with Bobby in search of my childhood church buildings. During my youngest years, we met for church in this building. It now appears to be some type of commercial counseling center.
I remember performing a children’s song (with my family) during a church meeting here. I must have been around four years old.
Next, Bobby and I drove to the new church building that was built while we lived here. In fact, I clearly remember helping my father up on the roof of this building, holding the end of a chalk line while he used it to mark a straight line for the placement of shingles. When I was pulling the chalk line backwards, I accidently walked off one of the eves and landed on the roof below. I’m not sure which one it was. I also have many other memories in this building.
This, and the other church building were the source of much of my childhood religious conditioning. Bobby and I did a great deal of emotional processing here.
A close-up showing one of the eves. Like I said before, I am not sure if this is the specific one I fell from … and I don’t think I was at the highest peak. I think I only fell a few feet.
Colorado National Monument
After finishing some very productive healing work, Bobby and I took a couple of hours to explore the Colorado National Monument. It is only a short distance from my old home, and is the place of many family activities, picnics, and hikes.
A gorgeous view of this red-rock area.
It was in tunnels like these that my father used to honk the horn.
Looking down at the valley below. This scenery has so many memories.
A rock formation called “Devil’s Kitchen” (foreground, mostly in the shade). We used to hike and picnic here. I once almost fell off a cliff here as I stepped on some loose shale while leaving a small slot canyon in these rocks. (I was around five years old.)
Zoomed-out view. Devil’s Kitchen is the formation glowing in the right center.
A little closer view of the same. The afternoon sun was perfect for this photo.
Bobby and I stopped the car and got out for a grounding hike. But as before, we did some good processing here.
Continuing the hike.
Approaching Devil’s Kitchen.
And even closer. I did not go up into the formation. It was late, and a little cold, so Bobby and I hurried back to the car and began the long drive back to the Salt Lake City area … arriving at my friend’s house around 10:00 p.m. that evening.
This ends the photos from my trip back to the beginning.
Copyright © 2013 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved