(This is the second installment of a series of posts describing my experiences at the “Moon Course” retreat at Las Piramides Del Ka in San Marcos La Laguna, Guatemala. Subsequent posts will follow very soon.)
“Visualize that you are in a large desert.” Chaty tells us during an evening guided meditation. “See and feel your surroundings.”
I struggle to visualize anything, but I can at least imagine that I am walking through the desert. I can pretend in my mind that I am doing and seeing the things we that are instructed to see – things such as riding on a camel or visiting an oasis. In the latter part of the guided imagery, Chaty tells us that we are approaching a flight of stairs.
“Visualize yourself standing on the steps, climbing them one by one.” Chaty’s quiet voice continues to guide us.
As I imagine myself slowly climbing, placing one foot above the other, I feel my throat constrict tightly, as if I am actually having an asthma attack. I am completely surprised by the suddenness and strength of the physical discomfort. I struggle to fight back a persistent urge to cough and to clear my throat.
The guided meditation proceeds beyond the stairs, and my throat begins to relax – but the memory of my uncomfortable choking continues to dominate my perception.
After the long desert journey is brought to an end, Chaty instructs us to sit up on our mats and to open our eyes. She then proceeds to relate the significance of each thing that we just visualized.
“The camel means so and so, and the oasis signifies blah blah blah.”
I am so anxious to discover the meaning of the staircase that I hardly pay attention to Chaty’s early interpretive words.
“The staircase represents your spiritual journey.” Chaty finally fills in the mystery.
During the remainder of our evening time in the pyramid temple I ponder the message that was just given to me. I am fully aware that the throat chakra is my expressive chakra. My memory flashes back to a channeling session I once had with my friend Trish – a session in which her throat briefly became very restricted and uncomfortable. She later explained to me that she often feels physical sensations when being prompted to relay a message to her clients. In that particular case, she had been telling me how deeply that my father loved me, but based on the feeling in her throat she guessed that he found it quite difficult to verbally express that love. As she expressed those sentiments, her words had rung true in my heart and soul.
Almost exactly a year ago, as I excitedly made preparations to leave for Cozumel, I had one final session with Trish – a session in which she powerfully told me that one of the main objectives of my amazing journey of self discovery would be to learn how to fully speak my truth.
Based on strong internal promptings at that time, I had just barely completed the structural framework of my blog. I remember how panicked I felt at the thought of sharing my deepest and most intimate spiritual feelings and insights on the internet – placing them out in the ether for all the world to see.
Then, as I contemplated the types of things that I might write, I froze with fear as I imagined the possibility of my family reading details about my precious spiritual beliefs – beliefs that I know run contrary to their own deeply held beliefs – beliefs that they will most likely perceive as crazy.
“I can’t expose my deepest spiritual insights to my loved ones who may not understand them.” I had anxiously pondered. “What will they think of me? Maybe I need to have a separate blog for communicating travel updates to family.”
Today, I giggle at how fearful I was just a short year ago. I cannot even fathom the idea of not having experienced these last amazing twelve months. My heart is filled with deep gratitude for my having found the courage to fully express my heart.
Or had I?
“Could the Universe be telling me that in my spiritual journey, I am still not yet fully speaking my truth?” I genuinely ask myself.
My heart tells me that the answer to this pointed question is an unequivocal “Yes.”
As I leave the meditation temple, I briefly share my experience and insights with Stephen.
“Don’t you think you are reading a lot of meaning into a simple physical sensation?” Stephen asks with slight disbelief.
“Absolutely not.” I tell him as I explain the reasoning behind my insights in more detail. I honestly believe that the Universe is telling me that when it comes to my spiritual path, I have still not found the courage to fully speak my truth.
Teachings Of My Youth
I grew up firmly believing that my religion was the only source of absolute truth. I was taught that the devil is vey skillful at imitating that truth. He can be like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and is capable of deceiving even the most fervent and elect of God’s followers, often leading them astray with counterfeit teachings and half-truths.
My parents taught me that most people who worked in the mystical occult realms, doing things such as channeling spirits or guides, practicing astrology, or using Tarot cards were, in reality, communicating with evil spirits. Even when their words and actions appeared to create positive results, in reality, the evil spirits were trying to lead people away with imitation partial-truths.
While I no longer believe the above statements to be true, I often find myself dancing around words and topics while writing in my blog, trying not to offend any of my precious loved ones who still believe as I once did, while at the same time attempting to remain true to my own deeply held spiritual beliefs.
I may no longer embrace the teachings of my youth, but I still honor and respect those teachings. Much of what I hold dear today is deeply influenced by many loving elements of those former beliefs and values, and those teachings are still very precious to many people whom I love deeply.
Social Chameleon
As a young boy struggling with transgender feelings, I was terrified at the thought of the “what others might think”. I desperately wanted to be on the “good side” of people’s perceptions and attitudes, giving them no reason to judge me, or to suspect that I was in any way “different”.
As a result, I learned how to “people please” at a very young age, always putting my best foot forward in public, never doing anything to make myself unnecessarily stand out or to call attention to myself (at least not intentionally).
The last thing I would ever do would be to express an opinion that might differ from that of the group I was currently with. The thought of exposing my inner feelings or thoughts “out there” for the world to judge was terrifying. So I became a chameleon, attempting to blend into the background of whatever social situation surrounded me.
This unhealthy behavior carried over into my adult life with a vengeance. Whenever I felt misunderstood or misjudged by another, my emotional confidence was devastated. I went out of my way to do what I thought others would want me to do, hoping they would like me.
In no uncertain terms, I was a chronic people pleaser, afraid to expose my genuine self.
Sun Screen
When I arrived in San Marcos at the end of April, I was fully aware that there are two spiritual courses here in Las Piramides del Ka, with the first, and most basic, being the Moon Course in which I was participating.
The second more advanced course is called the Sun Course. Four such courses are held every year, with each lasting exactly three months. Four times a year – on March 21, June 21, September 21, and December 21 – one Sun Course ends and another begins.
Prior to my first three days here at Las Piramides, I had absolutely no intention of participating in the Sun Course. You might say I had vigorously applied a thick coat of “sun screen” to protect myself from the thought of participating.
First, I had no desire to commit to remain in Guatemala for such a long period of time.
Second, a few of the topics discussed in the course were not in full alignment with the “Course In Miracles” beliefs that resonate so clearly with my heart.
But the main reason I refused to even consider the idea was that I knew that the last forty days of the course involved complete silence and restricted-diet partial fasting. This fact deeply intimidated me.
Imagine my surprise when, on my second day of sleeping in my tiny uncomfortable loft – prior to even beginning the Moon Course – a feeling momentarily, but powerfully, washed through my awareness.
“You will be going to the Sun Course.” The internal Jedi voices confidently whispered to my soul.
“The hell I am.” I silently exclaimed with fear, trying to push the thoughts forcefully out of my awareness. “I am not even sure if I want to stay for the entire Moon Course. No way am I going to commit to participate in the Sun Course.”
Then the real emotional issue began to bubble to the surface.
If I were to do the Sun Course, I would be studying and doing many things which might be very difficult for me to write about – things such as Tarot, Numerology, Astrology, Alchemy, Archangels, Astral Travel, and the list goes on.
“What will my family think of me studying such topics?” I pondered. “And then, what will my “Course In Miracles” friends think about me too?”
The real issue of my resistance had surfaced. I was feeling a deep fear of “Speaking My Truth.”
Unwritten Kabala
A few days later, in our spiritual topics discussion, Chaty introduces the study topics for our next week. Among other things, we will be learning a few basics about the symbolism of the “Tree of Life” in the traditions of the Kabala.
Chaty explains to us that the Kabalistic teachings are a mainstream part of the Jewish faith, but within that faith, only worthy mature men over the age of forty are allowed to study them. Chaty goes on to discuss a teaching that she describes as the “Unwritten Kabala” – spiritual kabalistic teachings that have been verbally and symbolically passed down from one generation to the next.
“Why do you suppose it cannot be written?” Chaty asks us to speculate.
Many people in the room venture an answer, but Chaty does not seem satisfied. I timidly raise my hand, unsure if mine is the answer she may be looking for, but I decide to speak my truth.
“Because it is a personal experience?” I answer with a hesitant voice that sounds like more of a question than a statement.
Chaty smiles and proceeds to explain to our class that the reason the “Unwritten Kabala” cannot be written is precisely that. Without a personal experience, it would simply be a collection of meaningless intellectual and philosophical words. It is impossible to convey the profound meaning of a personal experience using the medium of words. In order to fully understand, a person must experience it for themselves.
Simple Statements of Belief
Today, I feel a strong need to speak my truth, to attempt to fully expose a few of the basic beliefs that dance in my soul. But in doing so, I feel extremely inadequate, incapable. The things I want to say have the potential to sound incredibly silly and over simplified when examined from an intellectual or philosophical point of view. And then there is so much that I could not possibly communicate in so short of a space.
I know there is absolutely no way that I can convey in mere words the deep passions of the personal experiences that fuel my spirit. Words are not enough. But I also know that I must try.
Were it not for the profound experiences through which I have passed, I might be the first to join the bandwagon of declaring Brenda Larsen to be an utterly crazy fool.
I cannot explain what it is, but over the last few years I have developed an ever increasing capacity to recognize the quiet voices that seem to silently and peacefully guide me from within. I have learned to trust and rely on these voices. I could no more stop following them than I could voluntarily cease to breathe.
Yes, sometimes I get distracted and discouraged, and sometimes the voices make me wait – but the voices never allow me to linger for long.
When I first began reading about “A Course In Miracles” just five years ago, I did not feel as if I were learning something new. Instead, I felt as if I were remembering and awakening to deeply held internal truths – truths which I had always known but simply forgotten. Many of those ideas seemed quite bizarre at first, but as I have trusted my instincts and put them into personal practice, they have proven to be amazingly and increasingly powerful in my life.
In the paragraphs that follow, I will attempt to explain, in as simple a way as possible, many of the beliefs that form the basis of my spiritual path.
This is not an attempt to convince anyone to agree.
This is not an attempt to spur debate or discussion.
This is simply a genuine attempt to say “This is who I am” and “This is what I believe”.
This is simply an attempt to face my silly fears once and for all by exposing my true self – my true beliefs – for all to see.
The Nature of God
I cannot fathom a God that is a finite physical being, sitting on a golden throne, ruling the Universe from somewhere in the heavens.
I cannot fathom a judgmental God that would create children, place them into extremely different circumstances in a frightening and unjust world, and then divide them up into good and bad – condemning some to eternal punishment while blessing others with eternal bliss.
In both of the above two statements, I believe that it is mankind that has attempted to create God in the image of man – not the other way around. Creating a God that is finite, limited, and judgmental is something only a human with limited understanding could do.
I cannot adequately explain what I do believe, and my personal experience is merely profound glimpses – but with every element of my soul, I believe that unconditional love is the creating energy that binds the entire Universe together. This energy is intelligent, ever present, and all encompassing. In God’s presence there is no You and I – there is only We. There is no duality, no separation, no definition of good or bad, no right or wrong – only incredible oneness and wholeness.
As an extremely inadequate metaphor, it’s as if God is the ocean, and each of us is a droplet of that ocean. When removed from our source, we appear to be separate, but when reunited from whence we came, we merge again as one.
God is the very essence of unconditionally loving energy. The more I learn to strip away my judgment, and the more I learn to love in unconditional ways – the more I feel my soul come alive, and the more I feel my droplet rejoining with the vastness of the infinite ocean.
My goal is to mold my life in such a way as to become a part of that unconditionally-loving force.
Satanic Forces
While I recognize Ego’s existence, I do not call it Satan or the Devil. It is Ego that attempts to convince me of my separateness – skillfully convincing me that I need to be selfish and fend for myself.
It is Ego that has created definitions of good and evil, right and wrong. It is Ego that encourages me to sit in high places, feeling good about myself while giving me the ammunition to judge others that I might perceive to be less worthy than I.
Human belief systems are extremely powerful. I project everything that I believe onto the external world around me. When I believe the world is a loving place, I find evidence of that fact everywhere I look. If I believe the world to be an evil place, I will also find evidence of that fact in every encounter. We literally create our reality from within our own belief system.
I deeply believe the statement: “We don’t see the world as it is … We see the world as we are.”
The world I see is literally a reflection of who I am inside. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough: It is all an inside job (but only 100% of it).
In profound ways, my personal experience tells me that the more I learn to love unconditionally, the more I see only an unconditionally loving world. The more I strip my mind of judgment, the more I am capable of seeing God in every soul.
The Nature of Sin
I love the archery definition of the term “sin” – which means simply “missing the mark” or “missing the target”. In other words, sin is not some evil thing for which I will be sent to a dark and eternally burning Hell. The term sin merely means that I set out to accomplish one thing and that the outcome was slightly different than I originally planned.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe that every behavior has a consequence. If we climb a mountain and jump off a cliff, we will fall to the bottom of the cliff and our body will most assuredly be destroyed.
Society is overflowing with moral codes and laws that have been put into place in an attempt to regulate behaviors and to prevent people from hurting themselves or others. In their own ways, such rules and laws do indeed serve a valuable purpose for maintaining order in society.
But I believe in a higher law. I attempt to not judge things as being good or evil. I strive to not condemn one person’s behavior while rewarding another.
When I am in a spiritually connected state, the concept of evil seems so utterly silly, and I see other peoples’ behavior as simply “other peoples’ behavior”. In such a state, my heart inspires me to participate in activities that will bless my life and the lives of those around me. I seek only to do things motivated by love.
A Course In Miracles teaches that there is either “Love” or there is a “Call for Love”. I strive to live up to this definition. If someone does something to me that does not feel especially loving, my ideal response is to see their behavior as a “call for love.” This does not always come easy, but I know intuitively that my only responsibility in such a situation is to find a way to respond with pure unconditional love, no matter what seems to be thrown into my path.
Life’s Growth Lessons
From a mortal perspective, life always seemed so scary. I feared the unknown and attempted to protect myself from random acts outside of my control.
As I continually move into a more a spiritual perspective, my whole outlook has shifted dramatically. I do not believe that death is a bad thing, nor do I believe that any seeming tragic event in the world is bad. I believe that everything in life has a purpose, and can ultimately serve for our growth and development. I believe that treasures of spiritual growth and learning can be found in every situation – and I do mean every situation.
I believe that life repeatedly presents us with growth lessons, many of which are not necessarily enjoyable to pass through. If I don’t learn to respond to a particular lesson through the eyes of love, the lesson will continue to repeat itself in different contexts. Once I master love and forgiveness in one area, the Universe allows me to move forward, presenting me with new lessons and growth opportunities.
I have learned that if I tune into the spiritual synchronicities around me, my growth can be quite fun and joyful. When I ignore the signals, the universe often demands my attention with more drastic measures.
This Life Is A Dream
One of the hardest concepts for me to grasp when I began studying A Course In Miracles was the idea that everything in this physical world is simply an illusion – a projected dream so to say. It seems so real.
Quantum physics has confirmed that at an energetic level, everything that appears to be physical matter in this universe is in reality simply vibrating energy.
When I am asleep at night, my dreams seem very real. The experiences I have and the emotions I feel while in that dream state seem as real as do my everyday experiences in this physical life. It is only when I actually wake up that I can wrap my brain around the fact that none of the events in the dream really happened – and that none of them really mattered in the least.
I believe that in the eternal sense, this physical life is no more real than a nighttime dream. I am here in this earthly realm to grow and learn – to learn to respond with love and non-judgment – to learn who I really am – to learn that I really am a divine being who has simply fallen asleep and forgotten my true identity. We all are.
When I finally “awaken” or am “enlightened” I expect to look back at this whole lifetime as simply a massive dream that I took far too seriously.
I literally believe William Shakespeare’s analogy that “All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players”. Having fallen asleep and forgotten who I really am, I take my roles so seriously. I react to those around me as if they were real people who can really hurt me – but in reality they are merely actors who have also fallen asleep in their own roles.
It is like the whole world is a massive movie screen, and I am the projector. When I begin to realize this fact, I have the power to project a different dream rather than simply buying into the one I thought I was having.
Life After Death and Reincarnation
I believe that each and every soul that has ever seemed to visit this earth will eventually be fully enlightened, returning to the oneness of God’s presence. If I do not learn my lessons before I “seem to die” in this lifetime, I will return again to this dream world for another round of learning and growth.
Yes, I believe in the concept of multiple lifetimes. I cannot fathom a loving creator that would condemn any of his children to any type of a Hell – especially given the fact that each of us is born under such varying circumstances.
I believe that there is only one real place that is not an illusory dream world – and that place is the highest spiritual realm where I will be fully awakened and reunited with the oneness of God’s presence. The process of spiritual awakening removes us from the dream cycle, at which time we will realize that we never even left God’s presence in the first place – we just fell asleep and thought we did.
I do not believe that we have an automatic awakening between lifetimes. I believe that when our spirit leaves this physical existence, our consciousness visits a higher realm, but that we are no more awake in that realm than when we were in this physical realm. We take our beliefs, our clarity, and our confusion with us. It is only when we fully awaken that the illusions melt around us and that we are reunited with God’s divine presence – when our drop returns to the ocean.
Jesus, Buddha, Krishna
I believe that Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, and others were all very spiritually enlightened teachers.
I believe that Jesus was a deeply spiritual teacher who achieved full enlightenment, and who personally demonstrated the way for the rest of humanity to do the same. He taught us about the unreality of death and about the importance of unconditional love and forgiveness. He taught us that we all have the power to be just like him – and he set the example of just how we can do that.
But I also believe that over the years Jesus’ followers turned his beautiful and amazing teachings into a judgment based religion that was far from Christ’s intent. They interpreted his teachings and beliefs through the lenses of their own limited belief systems, distorting his message beyond recognition.
Forgiveness
I do not believe in traditional forgiveness – the kind of forgiveness that says “You did something wrong, but I will take the high road and overlook it, but you better not do it again … blah blah blah.”
This kind of forgiveness is all about judgment and seeing yourself as better and capable of determining what someone else should or should not do.
Instead, the kind of forgiveness that I believe in is the kind that realizes that there was never anything outside of me to forgive in the first place. Without judgment there is no need to forgive, because I realize that no external offense really happened. Any perceived offence is really a projection of my own internal issues.
When I feel judgment and an urge to lash out at someone else, I believe that my real task is to make it an inside job – to analyze why I am reacting the way that I am reacting. Once I take responsibility for my own reaction, and recognize that no one “out there” has the power to do anything “to me”, I reach the point of realizing that there is actually nothing external to forgive. I need only let go of my judgments and projected perceptions.
At that point, I can forgive myself for the thought that something outside of myself needed to be forgiven.
I know … I know … it sounds so bizarre … but it is beautiful, and oh so powerful when you reach the point of taking full responsibility for how you feel.
The Occult
I grew up believing that the word “Occult” was literally a replacement for the words “Satan” or “Devil”. Imagine my surprise when I realized last week that it simply means “Hidden”.
My heart tells me to fully embrace anything that sings to my soul with joy and peace, regardless of the labels which have been applied to it in my past. I trust my heart.
I used to believe that people who channeled beings from other realms were for sure communicating with the devil. Personal experience dictates that the opposite is true. I have had incredible spiritual experiences as my friend Trish has several times helped me to connect me with my spiritual guides. On top of that, my favorite spiritual study (A Course In Miracles) is a beautiful collection of teachings that were channeled through Helen Schucman back in the 1970’s.
While “Tarot” is not necessarily my thing, I do not believe it is evil in any way, shape, or form. I believe that it can be a deeply spiritual and inspiring experience when properly administered. If both the facilitator and the participant are spiritually tuned in to divine intuitive forces, the results can be incredibly loving and powerful. Such was my experience during the Moon Course when I received two different readings from members of the present Sun Course who are developing their reading skills. I was deeply inspired by the results.
Astrology has never spoken to my soul, but I know several deeply spiritual people for whom the astrological charts have great inspired meaning. I believe that the earth and other planets all have spirits. I believe that our galaxy is a living energetic entity, and that the Universe itself is also a living energetic entity. It only makes sense that the energies of nearby spiritual entities have a measurable energetic effect on each other.
Likewise, numerology is a topic around which I have a difficult time wrapping my logical mind. I am highly resistant to the concepts, but fully understand that the entire universe can be scientifically measured with numbers and ratios. I feel a strong affinity with my spiritual guide Pythagoras, and I cannot help but wonder if things like numerology and sacred geometry might play a prominent role in my future.
Spiritual Guides
I do not know why this one is so hard for me to talk about. Perhaps it is because I know that many people will think I am nuts, and I want to spare them of that judgment.
In fact, there have been many times that I wonder myself if I might be nuts.
I believe that we all have spiritual guides, or guardian angels, or whatever you want to call them. I believe that our primary spiritual guide is our own soul or higher self – a part of us that is outside of our physical limitations – a part of our self that is capable of guiding us on a daily basis.
But I also believe that each of us is entitled to spiritual guidance in any way that is deemed practical or necessary by those in other higher spiritual realms.
Back in August of 2008, I participated in my second channeling session with my friend Trish. During that amazingly powerful session, Trish told me about three male energy guides that were trying to communicate with me. During the first half of the session, she told me that they were waiting to convey information to me – but that I was not listening to them. With a puzzled face, Trish told me that the information seemed quite intellectual, something to do with mathematics or Geometry.
Halfway through that session, Trish informed me that my guides suddenly shifted from the intellectual space into the heart space. The entire session was very powerful, but perhaps the part that stood out most vividly was toward the end. My guides showed a visual image to Trish and asked her to convey it to me. She did her best to draw it on a piece of paper. Then Trish told me that what my guides want to share with me has something to do with this symbol and what it represents.
“They are telling me,” Trish adds, “That if you see this symbol somewhere, that it is them trying to communicate with you, and that you should pay attention.”
“Oh my gosh,” Trish then exclaimed, “They are reminding me about a necklace that I picked up and never knew why. Now they are telling me that I am supposed to give it to you.”
The necklace was remarkably similar to the drawing that my guides had asked Trish to share with me.
At the end of my session, Trish asked my guides if they would give us their names, but they refused – telling her only that if I were to ask myself, that they might give the names to me.
Two mornings after learning of their existence, I woke up unexpectedly during the wee morning hours. Feeling prompted, I immersed myself in meditation and asked my guides if they might consider telling me who they are. Immediately my right brain flashed to a visual image of a conversation that I had with my friend Rafael just nine months earlier, during my first trip to Cozumel in Dec 2007. In that conversation, Rafael had been telling me extensively about the Greek philosopher Pythagoras. Then I remembered the puzzled look on Trish’s face when she mentioned that my guides were saying something about geometry.
Even though the name felt correct in my heart, I found the idea of Pythagoras being one of my guides to be a very difficult concept to accept.
I asked if the other two could share their names. Immediately my mind flashed to the circular image that Trish had felt deeply inspired to draw for me. As I focused on the image, my right brain flashed with a visual image of DaVinci’s Venusian man – a famous drawing of a man lying in a circle with his arms and legs extended.
“No, not DaVinci.” I quietly exclaimed with disbelief.
Still struggling to accept what I knew in my heart to be true, I asked if my third guide could identify himself. Immediately my mind flashed to a clear memory of a character called Socrates in one of my favorite books – a book written by Dan Millman titled “The Peaceful Warrior.” But I knew in my heart that I was being told that the real Socrates was my other guide.
Over the course of the last twenty-one months I have grown quite comfortable with the fact that I have three guides named Pythagoras, DaVinci, and Socrates – three guides that are following along with my journey and trying to communicate with me – but I also continue to feel largely unsuccessful in establishing an open communication channel with any of them. I often sense that their energy is close, and sometimes feel that I can even distinguish their energies – but I am still filled with doubts … and with fears.
“What if I really do learn how to communicate with them? What will that mean? How will it change my life?”
“Will I have the courage to tell the world about it?”
“Will I have the courage to speak my truth regarding any messages that might be given to me?”
Well there you have it. I am verifiably loony, insane, and crazy. I actually believe that I have some type of spiritual mission to fulfill – a mission that involves being able to communicate with three famous and powerful men from the past. If this were not personally happening to me, I would be the first therapist to line up with my “cuckoo” diagnosis printed on a large neon sign.
All joking aside, yes, at a very deep spiritual level, I do believe that a message is waiting to be delivered through me – and I am utterly terrified that it might actually start happening.
Yet at the same time, I am doing everything in my power to prepare myself to be worthy of such communication should such a time arrive.
For all I know, this communication may never happen. I really might be crazy. But at least I will be the happiest, most joyful, and most peaceful crazy person I know.
Lower Your Defenses
As I finish writing these words, my mind is powerfully pulled once again to a dream that rocked my world during my early days in Guatemala. The words “Forget everything you know” and “Lower your defenses” seem to have particular significance at this point in my life. It seems powerfully evident that the Universe wants me to broaden my horizons of knowledge, opening my mind to possibilities that I have strongly resisted in the past.
As Chaty continued our third week of spiritual topics discussions, my defenses were constantly being triggered. Yet at the same time, I was being bombarded with frequent spiritual promptings telling me in no uncertain terms: “You know Brenda, you WILL be doing the Sun Course.”
Several times during discussions that week, Chaty brought up Pythagoras’s name, and one day she drew a symbol on the board that sent energy bouncing through my spine.
Chaty explained that the circular figure was her way of symbolically representing an incredibly powerful spiritual experience that had been given to her.
There on the whiteboard at the front of the pyramid temple was the exact same symbol that my friend Trish had drawn for me twenty-one months ago.
Needless to say, a peaceful resonating energy was strongly vibrating through my soul as I realized that another powerful reason had just been given to me as to why I needed to lower my defenses and sign up for the Sun Course.
Two hours later, I threw my defenses to the wind as I walked into the office, declared my intention to return for three months on June 21, and put a small deposit down on a private room for my stay during the Sun Course.
I may be crazy, but I plan to find out where all of this craziness takes me.
And I make a personal commitment to myself and to the world that from here on out, I will always speak my entire personal truth, holding nothing back out of fear about how it may be received.
Copyright © 2010 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved