(As per my post “Finding The Balance”, all of my blog entries up through the end of my Sun Course (Sept 21) will be raw journal entries. I want to continue writing, but will not have the time to do so in my normal polished manner.)
Monday, August 30 – 6:45 p.m.
Yesterday (Sunday) was a beautiful day of basking in spiritual experience. I literally loved my four hours of writing in the morning. Then, after running to the local internet café to post that blog entry, I joyfully immersed myself in another four hours of further energy explorations in my room.
For the first time in my life, I felt the energy chakras open up in the bottoms of my feet. It was actually quite amazing. I have felt the energy in my hands for quite some time now. It was quite weak at first, but has gradually increased in intensity. I have long known that such chakras also existed in the feet, but had never even given them a second thought until yesterday. In addition to feeling the energy portals begin to open in my feet, I was also thrilled to experience what felt like a new energy channel beginning to clear around my spine.
My entire four hours was filled with great energy. The experience was well worth the effort, and yes, it does take a great deal of effort to focus and concentrate for four hours, watching my breathing throughout the process.
* * * * *
Early this morning (Monday) I had a series of three different and seemingly unrelated dreams. I won’t go into the details here because none of them stand out as being especially significant – other than the fact that I actually remembered most of them. As you may recall, for several days now, I have been struggling to remember any dreams at all.
The third dream was significant in one tiny area. At the very end of a very confusing dream, I found my consciousness drifting off. Then I suddenly realized that I was reading some type of advertising flyer. As I was about half way down the page, I became momentarily lucid as I read the word “encardena”. As soon as I realized that I was lucid, I tried desperately to remain in the dream to do some more reading, but left the dream almost immediately, forgetting everything that I had read except this one word.
As I pondered the dream, I was convinced that I was reading in English. I had never heard of this word before, but was absolutely sure it must be a real word. I believed that if I looked it up in a dictionary that I would find a meaning – perhaps a message. Not having an English dictionary, I grabbed my Spanish to English (and vice versa) dictionary. The word was definitely not in the English section, but a little hunch encouraged me to check for the word in Spanish section.
Sure enough, I found the word “encardenar” which is a verb meaning “to chain or to shackle.” The word “encardena” would be the third person singular conjugation, meaning “he/she/you/it chains or shackles.”
So far, I have not attached much personal meaning to this word, other than to find it fascinating that this previously unknown collection of letters actually is a word. I wonder if perhaps the dream is trying to tell me that I still have some symbolic form of chains or shackles holding me back from my growth. As I passed through today, it sure felt as if there were shackles preventing me from progressing.
* * * * *
Today I found the bottom of the next ocean wave. I had been joyously surfing right up on top of the big waves yesterday, but no matter what I tried today, I seemed to be paddling along in the low trough between waves. The big ones seemed to be breaking and crashing down right on top of me.
Don’t get me wrong – it was not a bad day – just a very flat ho-hum disconnected one. As I tried to do more energy meditations, I simply felt stuck and tired. I switched and attempted to do some sitting up meditation, but felt deeply distracted and uninterested. I crawled in bed to take a nap, hoping to have another dream. But I had no success in this area either.
Throughout the day, it seemed that no matter what I tried, a huge brick wall (perhaps a wall of chains) was erected in front of me – taunting me, laughing at me, telling me that what I have done before will no longer work – telling me that I am going to have to figure out the rules all over again.
I am tired. The energy work that I have done for much of this week has been amazing, but exhausting, and I simply need a change of pace.
Tonight during meditation, as I grappled with my feelings of inadequacy and emptiness, the realization suddenly hit me. I have been the proverbial square peg that is trying to force itself into a round hole. Once again, I have forgotten the roots that have guided me to this point in my spiritual path. I have forgotten to do my own personal meditation style – the kind where I simply lose myself in nature, sing songs, listen to music, repeat my mission statement, fill my heart with gratitude, ponder my many blessings, talk out loud to spirit, write in my journal, and just watch the bugs and the bees, etc…
Beginning tonight, I plan to shake things up a little bit, returning to a few tried-and-proven techniques that almost always help me reconnect with spirit – my own little form of Superman magic pills.
But I don’t plan to completely abandon my mostly-futile attempts at traditional meditation styles just yet – I will continue to focus on them in a balanced way. Something inside of me tells me that there must be some treasure at the end of that rainbow too if I can just discipline myself enough to find it. And of course, I know I will soon return to my amazing energy experiences.
But my heart right now is begging me to take a temporary detour, to go smell some flowers and sing songs to the lake. I think that tomorrow morning after class, I will follow my heart wherever it leads.
Tonight I am extremely tired. Even though it is only 7:30 p.m., I am going to hop into my pajamas and plug in my IPOD. It is time to cheer up this weary mind with inspiration of a different venue.
Tuesday, August 31 – 6:00 a.m.
I give up – attempting to sleep is futile. I have been awake now since 2:45 a.m., at which time I finally gave in to an intense dream process that had been going on for at least an hour or two prior to that early hour. In the dream, I was literally half awake, and half asleep. My mind was racing, churning, seemingly focused on solving the mysteries of the Universe.
Finally, at 2:45, realizing that if I didn’t at least write something down, that I would most likely not even remember the experience at all by morning, I sat up, pulled out my little reading light and my dream journal, and began to scribble. This is what I wrote:
“Tree of Life – six aspects centered around light and love – in constant flux, struggling to maintain balance.”
This was about all I could remember – at least what came to consciousness as I attempted to remember. Then I continued by writing the following:
“I have been in an ‘awareness’ state for what feels like hours, knowing that some deep stuff is being grappled about in my subconscious mind. Each time I try to remember something about that which I am dreaming – trying to make sense of it – it all goes blank. Then, I immerse myself back into the exhausting fray of the dream. As a flash of insight reaches my conscious mind, I again try to grab onto it, only to go blank again. This is quite the paradox.”
Having written what little I could, I again crawled back under the covers, determined to go back to sleep. Five minutes later, I was up again. I didn’t remember any more about the seemingly incessant dream – but I felt prompted to write down my feelings about the symbolism of the “six aspects centered around light and love” that I had written about earlier. I repeatedly wrote a tiny bit, went back to bed, sat back up and wrote some more, went back to bed, and sat up again. This process went on repeating itself till 4:00 a.m., at which time I felt as if I had satisfied my need to write.
Then the floodgates opened with full force as ideas began to flood my mind with things that I wanted to write about. All the while, I refused to get up to turn on my computer. After all it was 4:00 a.m., and I was very stubborn, insisting that I wanted my sleep. Nevertheless, I continued to process these thoughts until finally, here I am, right now at 6:20 a.m., surrendering and beginning the writing process.
Before I write about my further scribbling from last night, however, I need to first lay a lot of background.
Symbols, Symbols, and More Symbols
I have written about this before, but now the lesson is ever so more powerfully engrained in my mind, and I need to revisit the topic.
Pretty much everything that we use to communicate in this world consists of symbols – whether those symbols are language, mathematics, photos, colors, images, or even parables and metaphorical stories. In every case of communication, mutually agreed upon (and mutually experienced) symbols are crucial if the message is to be successfully conveyed.
Let’s suppose that I want to share a message with my dear friend Michelle. In my mind I put together a collection of symbols that mean something in my own personal experience, and I then share those symbols with Michelle, hoping that she understands what I want to convey. But suppose I choose to use the symbols of the Spanish Language. Since Michelle has never internalized Spanish symbols in her own experience, she will not understand anything that I tell her.
Likewise, if I try to share a mathematical formula with someone who has never studied math, my message will meet a blankly staring face.
The real pitfall of communication occurs when two people erroneously think that they understand the same symbols. Let’s say that I am eating breakfast with a young girl in Great Britain. If I ask her to pass me a napkin, she is most likely going to be very puzzled. Even though we speak the same language, when I ask her for a napkin she is probably picturing in her mind what I symbolically label with the word diaper. Unless she has been exposed to US English, she will think I am bonkers.
On an even more subtle note, communication totally depends on having a shared experience. For example, supposed that my friend Jeanette grew up her believing that sugar was salt, and that salt was sugar. If I tell Jeanette that my food tastes salty, the symbolism of salt will cause Jeanette to imagine that my food is very sweet – because “sweet” would be her own personal experience of the word salt.
Language is a tricky thing. We think we are communicating accurately and objectively, but in reality, the whole process is extremely subjective. If I describe a very powerful spiritual experience here in the words of my blog, then every person out there will likely interpret my words differently – interpreting them based on their own personal experiences regarding what a spiritual experience is like for them. It is impossible to do otherwise.
The Kabala is literally overflowing with symbolism. One of the reasons that we in the Sun Course spend our first 50 days filling our heads with intellectual knowledge is that we are trying to associate mystical symbols with some type of shared meaning. Yet, until we have a personal experience of that “shared meaning”, the symbols really mean absolutely nothing – they are merely a collection of intellectual words or shapes.
The final 40 days of our silence is all about attempting to get that “personal experience” in such a way that the symbols will come alive in our subconscious – helping us to understand in a very personal way how the whole model of creation fits together. Until we get that genuine “personal experience” there is no real understanding – just intellectual words and abstract symbols.
* * * * * 7:30 a.m.
I just returned from a thirty minute stroll down to the lake. I fully intended to sit by the water, to enjoy nature, and to perhaps write in my notebook. But as I sat there on a cold hard rock just a few feet above the beautiful calm waters of Lake Atitlan, my restless mind incessantly demanded that I return to my computer – that I continue this writing. I have a hunch that I will be writing pretty much non-stop today until I finish pouring out whatever it is that my heart desires to express – and I have no idea how much that is – I guess I will find out when I am done.
I want to emphasize that I am writing these things for my own healing and comprehension – to help me clarify where I am at in my own process of understanding the symbolisms – to help me satisfy this deep internal longing to write it all down – to organize it – to simplify it – to clarify it for me so that I can perhaps begin to spiral down another level deeper.
It is my sincere desire that my words will also help anyone else who may feel a desire to read them – but rest assured, I am not attempting to preach or to teach. Instead, I am attempting to understand by explaining it all to myself.
The Illusionary Universe
One of the hardest concepts for me to originally swallow about “A Course In Miracles” was the teaching that this entire Universe is an illusion, very much like a nighttime dream. None of it is real in the eternal sense – zilch, nada.
Now, today, as I study the teachings of Hermes, and how they all relate to Kabalistic beliefs, one of the things that I literally love is that one of Hermes’s seven founding principles states that everything is mental – a mental projection from the mind of God – that the entire Universe (but only all of it) is contained and projected in the mind.
I need to momentarily regress again. I should point out that I am studying the “Mystical or Hermetic Kabala – a group of teachings based on the ancient wisdom of Hermes – teachings integrated with the ancient and rich spiritual symbolism of Tarot, Astrology, Numerology, The Emerald Tablet, The Kyballion, and Alchemy. While the Tree of Life is the same as that in the traditional Jewish Kabala, and while many of the teachings and concepts fully overlap, I need to emphasize that what we are learning is not the pure Hebrew viewpoints. The wisdom I am learning has its roots deep in the traditions of Atlantis, and even earlier. Yet, it is true that much of what I am learning is indeed based on the Hebrew roots – the language, the words, etc…
The Holodeck
One of the most powerful symbols that I have picked up in my life-long love of science fiction is the concept of the “holodeck” originally based on the television series: Star Trek – The Next Generation.
For anyone not familiar with the holodeck, it is a computer-generated pseudo reality – fully programmed using holographic imagery and artificial intelligence. A “real” human being can enter such a fantasy world and gain valuable training and experience. The same artificial world can also be used purely for entertainment and play. But the underlying thread is that when one is actually interacting on the holodeck, it looks, feels, smells, tastes, and sounds every bit as real as the outside physical world.
One main safety feature of the holodeck is that a human being can engage in dangerous and life-threatening activities without actually facing any real harm – because no real harm can occur in that computer projected realm – unless of course the “safety feature” is turned off. If that is the case, a human can indeed die while in the pseudo holodeck reality.
Yes, the concept of a “holodeck” is indeed a powerful symbol. For anyone who has experienced a holodeck in the fantasy world of movies or television, the word “holodeck” brings up real mental images, real memories of fictional stories, real understanding of an actual fantasy immersion – one that can be discussed and easily related to by others who also love Star Trek.
I find that the symbol of a holodeck is a powerful way for me to describe this “seemingly” real world in which we now exist. In reality, this entire Universe is one massive holodeck somehow created in the mind of God. (Whether it is a dream or some other type of mental projection does not matter.) From a mortal and human perspective, everything seems absolutely real, and it indeed feels as if the “safety feature” of our reality is definitely turned off. Our bodies can get hurt. We suffer pain. We can seem to die even horrible deaths.
But in reality, the safety features are fully intact. Our eternal divine soul is the one ultimately experiencing this playground called planet earth. Death in this physical realm means absolutely nothing in the eternities. It is merely a transitional state back to next higher illusory plane – the Astral realm. None of it is real, and nothing can really happen to us. Our only task while in this projected reality is to learn to be God-like – to love, to not judge, to not be attached to things, to remember the truth of who we really are. The closer we get to this understanding, the less the circumstances of the world around us matter. Until we fully achieve this divine “state of being,” our soul will continue to return to another physical body for more practice life experience.
The Tree Of Life
So when I think of the Kabala’s Tree of Life, I actually think of the holodeck symbolism. The Tree of Life is an archetypal map of how this holographic-projected Universe was originally created, and how it continues to shift, to grow, and to evolve dynamically.
The Tree of life consists of ten spheres or “sephiroth”, each of which symbolically represents one energetic aspect of creation. The highest and most abstract sphere represents a state of pure being, pure potential. The next two lower spheres represent the first spark of unbridled masculine energy, balanced by the first concept of providing conceptual form to that energy, being the feminine that brings such form.
The next six spheres successively build on these concepts, becoming increasingly more concrete. The first of these spheres brings in the concept of God-like benevolence and brotherly love, which are then balanced by the energies of the next sphere – form-giving (and destroying) energies that provide energy, will, determination, and courage to make life’s difficult choices. After these two are perfectly harmonized in a third sphere that represents the mediating energy of Christ-like consciousness, the tree again branches out with an unbridled creative, loving, artistic, mother-nature-like energy which is then subsequently balanced by the stability of intellectual form – given some type of archetypal structure in which to create. Finally, the sixth sphere in the group represents the full balance of emotion and intellect, creativity and knowledge, merged with the subconscious awareness of our true divine identity.
Another invisible entity living somewhere in the Tree of Life represents our divine consciousness, our awareness as being our own higher self.
It is these six middle spheres that then manifest (become the parent of) the final sphere which symbolically represents the actual created entity within whatever realm we are dealing.
In fact, the Tree of Life represents many realms. The highest is the realm of the symbolism of the Gods, a realm where spiritual bodies are ultimately created. The second realm is that symbolized by Archangels, where our divine mental body/consciousness is formed. The third realm is that of the symbolic angelic energies – a realm where our astral body is developed. The fourth is symbolized by the astrological energies of the planets and the zodiac, being that of the physical realm where the actual Universe and our physical bodies are manifest in form.
But the kicker here is that within each and every sphere of the tree, there exists inside yet another entire Tree of Life; and every Tree of Life can be ultimately represented as a single sphere within a larger Tree of Life. The possibilities are endless and mind boggling – completely intellectual to someone who does not have a personal experience with meditating on the deep symbolism.
But, then again, we need to remember that all of this is nothing but a huge massive holodeck, created in the mind of God. The only absolute reality is the timeless, eternal being-ness that is the source of this entire creative cycle.
So this is my quest – to immerse myself in this symbolic world of creation – to meditate on the symbols, to understand in a very personal way just what each of the symbols mean to me – what they can teach me – what they can help me understand about the Universe I presently find myself living in – and to help me discover the truth about my divine roots.
The Quest For The Keys
Another thing that I have never previously mentioned is that the Tree of Life can be a powerful meditative tool for helping a genuine soul-searcher to approach the mysteries of enlightenment. Chaty explains it to us somewhat like this:
Buried within all of the symbolism of the many combined systems of Kabala, Tarot, and Astrology, etc… are clues that will point one to a key hidden within the tree – in fact two hidden keys – which when discovered and properly utilized can open doors to mystical experiences that bring amazing new insights and understanding regarding creation. Also hidden within the symbolic mysteries of the tree – but likewise requiring experiences that only come from personal revelation – are insights regarding many other mystical treasures.
Chaty first discovered the keys herself prior to establishing the first Sun Course – many, many years ago. But it was not until about three years ago that one of her students first found and experienced the keys for herself. Since that time, I believe that a grand total of only four or five students have found and experienced the fruits of these keys.
So when people begin the Sun Course, the idea of “finding the keys” is the first and foremost thing on many peoples’ minds. It becomes some type of intellectual treasure hunt followed by a spiritual treasure hunt.
When I first surrendered to my promptings to participate in the Sun Course, I had absolutely no interest in intellectual exercises, or in finding any keys of a silly Tree of Life. I was totally in the game because my heart demanded that I be here – telling me that there is great personal growth in store – growth that would help me grow closer to the Astral realms and to my quest for enlightenment.
But as soon as I began studying, I have to admit that I began to wonder “Will I find the keys?” “What could they possibly be?” “What difference will the keys make in my life? etc…
Then I had to ask myself, “Why would I want to find the keys?” and “Wouldn’t such a quest be based on Ego?”
A part of me whispered from my shoulder, “It would be really awesome to say that I am one of a very small and elite group of people that has found them.”
Of course my answer was “No, I really don’t care about finding keys. That is not why I am doing this course.”
I simply trusted that I would be guided to find and to discover whatever spiritual treasures that I need as I progress down my present path – trusting that Spirit will guide me to find exactly what I need, at exactly the precise moment when I need it. So far, this seems to have been the case with all of my past dreams and other intuitive guidance, and I see no reason to doubt that future experience will be any different.
But then, as our 40 days progresses, and as Chaty occasionally asks us about our current experiences and insights, I begin to feel internal pressure that perhaps “I need to focus harder. Perhaps I need to force myself to more aggressively seek the inspiration and intuition that will guide me to find the key. I must … I should … I have to … I am destined to … blah blah blah.”
Such feelings really feed into my Ego – becoming a trap that I believe has me stuck at this very moment. As of two hours ago, I am exactly 20 days into my silence – precisely half way through the 40 days. I cannot believe it has gone so fast. I feel as if I just started, wondering where all the time has gone. I feel a sense of self-imposed pressure to make more progress, and to make it even faster.
As I write, intuition tells me that the brick wall (or the chains from my dream) that I am hitting has everything to do with this pressure – this lack of trust – this sense of needing to push harder.
I should know better. I do know better. But it is so incredibly easy to get caught up in such a quest for buried treasure.
Beginning in this very moment, I commit to myself that I will strive to be present in each moment – doing only what my current promptings guide me to do. I will stop worrying about future outcomes, future tasks, future meditations, or about future lessons slipping away. I know that whatever I am ready for will indeed happen as long as I remain present.
I can simply melt back into this peaceful present moment awareness and return to trusting Spirit. Just maybe, just maybe, just maybe, Spirit might actually know what it is doing. I certainly do not know the answers nor do I know the precise path – but Spirit for sure does know.
Another thing that I find a little challenging is the inspired manner in which Chaty works her magic. She does it brilliantly. I believe she has given us everything we need in our journey, but she has done so in such a way as to make it not at all obvious, burying the details in a maze of intellectual information. Then she has basically turned us loose to struggle on our own, reminding us that everything we encounter during our journey – every situation, every emotion, literally everything that comes up – is part of our process.
Chaty has told us to expect our growth, inspiration, and insights to be based on our current level of spiritual development. She has told us to expect to bump into walls and veils through which we must progress via personal growth. She has told us literally everything we need to know – but absolutely nothing at the same time.
When I work with Keith (the Chocolate Shaman) I love the one-on-one attention where he knows exactly what I am experiencing. He follows my journey and gives me just enough clues to keep me interested, to keep me focused on doing it myself. Then he confirms my intermediate steps, giving me intuitive feedback that helps me to know that I am headed in the right direction. But Keith invariably makes me find the solution on my own.
Chaty takes a much more hands-off approach. She gave us everything up front and has basically turned us loose, leaving us on our own to seek our own internal answers. I love Chaty’s approach – but I long for Keith’s gentle step-by-step feedback. Ultimately, if I do gain great spiritual insights here at the Sun Course, it will most likely be because Chaty does make me do it all by myself – giving me the confidence that I CAN, and I DID.
Is That EGO?
Last night, in meditation, we did some more partner meditation/discussions. As before, I was paired up with beautiful N’himsa. The questions we discussed were things like “What are you searching for in life?” “What do you hope to gain from this course?” etc…
Of course, my answers were all “Enlightenment.”
I genuinely, with all of my heart, am devoted to this goal – no longer in a “work, work, work, or do, do, do” manner – but in a pure, deeply rooted genuine longing of the soul.
But as N’himsa and I discussed Ego, and I momentarily questioned my motives as to why I want Enlightenment, a huge burst of Ego briefly flashed into my mind.
I envisioned writing powerful spiritual books, being a best-selling author, and going on speaking tours, etc…
“Woah!” I thought to myself as I saw Ego written all over my thoughts. “Where did that come from?”
Yes, I do see myself publishing books, and yes, I do see myself as giving speeches, etc… – but no, such desires are not based on desires for fame or fortune – they are merely promptings of what I believe may be coming down the road. With every genuine fiber of my soul, I know that I will be thrilled and lead an extremely satisfying life whether or not I ever do any of those things – even if I end up living in a cave somewhere in Tibet. Enlightenment is my genuine goal, and whatever else happens, simply happens. I will embrace whatever that is, wherever that is – but my only genuine desire is to more fully connect with the divine.
Astrology – Crazy-Schmologyy
Throughout my life, I have considered astrology to be utter mundane silliness associated with the meaningless daily horoscopes that find their way into our lives via nearly every form of published media. I never understood any of it, and never had a desire to open my mind, even in the slightest.
I now realize that Astrology is filled with creational symbolism – symbolism that remarkably brings great insight into other spiritual systems. I recognize that it is almost all symbolic – including the relationships of the mythological Gods, and their powers. But the more I understand that symbolism, the more amazed I become at the ancient wisdom that has existed on our planet for eons of time.
Every one of the planets and their corresponding mythology corresponds, in amazing ways, with the creation energies of the spheres in the Tree of Life. Likewise, the astrological signs of the zodiac, as well as seven of the planetary bodies, are used to provide symbolic meaning to nineteen of the twenty-two paths that join the ten spheres of the tree together. (The other three are the symbolic elements of fire, air, and water.)
Even though I have long since moved away from being locked into the beliefs of my Mormon roots, I never cease to be amazed at how much wisdom Joseph Smith had in the early days of the church. In his deep wisdom, the founder of Mormonism taught that the planet earth has a living spirit – a soul with feelings and consciousness. I always found this hard to swallow – but now I embrace the concept with all my heart. Not only do I believe that this planet is a living being, but I also believe that the Sun, Moon, and other planets are also living beings.
I actually believe that our solar system is a living entity, as are all of the other solar systems in our galaxy. Likewise, I believe that our galaxy is a living being, as is the entire Universe itself.
I, in my tiny insignificance, am merely a simply cell in this massive web of existence – but wait. I am made up of millions and millions of cells, and I believe that each of them is also a conscious entity. Could all of this be true? I believe it is.
Early Morning Insights
So there you have it. Everything to this point has been my sharing of sharing the “lot of background information” framework that I needed to put out before I could discuss the simple insights that flashed through my mind early this morning.
I began to think in astrological symbolism regarding the spheres in the Tree of Life – specifically in the level of the tree that represents creation of the physical realms.
One by one, a planet came to me, along with new insights regarding its symbolism. I would reluctantly get out of bed and write down the insight. Then I would go back to bed, trying to sleep, only to get up again with more insights about the next planet. Following are those insights.
Saturn
Saturn is a planet that is very closely related to the creation of time, as well as slow, but powerful learning. It is associated with the third Sphere, the one that begins the creation of restrictive forms – the sphere responsible for the concept of birth and death. In fact, Saturn represents a mythological God who was said to devour his own offspring – symbolic of the fact that what is born must die – nothing in form is eternal.
Time is the concept of measured impermanence, symbolic of birth and death. Without birth and death, the concept of time is nonsensical, it has no purpose, because eternity is forever, it has no beginning, no ending, nothing by which to measure time. It is simply the present moment enjoyed forever.
As I ponder my own learning style, I wonder if perhaps I have some Saturn in my astrological charts. I often struggle to gain real and permanent learning, requiring slow hands-on experience to get it. But when I do learn in such a way, the learning is powerful.
Jupiter
Jupiter is associated with the fourth sphere, in the area of the forces of benevolence. The concept of too much benevolence is like a disease. Nothing would get done. Everyone would sit around and hug and smile, gushing forth compliments to each other, but nothing would get done. Jupiter is the symbol of these beautiful loving traits of stability and loving perfection – but such traits and energy forces need a healthy framework of form in which to function. Otherwise their excess leads to very unbalanced and unproductive life. A beautiful energetic concept of benevolence, by itself, can do nothing. It needs courage, determination, will power, desires, etc…
Mars
Mars is associated with the fifth sphere. The energies of Mars have long been given a very bad name. Yes, Mars represents the warrior planet, and used out of balance its energies can lead to cruelty and destruction. But in proper balance, Mars is also the creator of form that brings love to life and action. Mars energy is the source of courage, determination, and will power that combined give productive focus to the energies of benevolence. A properly balanced Mars is the “engine” for the “gasoline” of love. Mars helps us to make the tough, often unpleasant, decisions in our life that must be made in order to move forward with our growth.
Venus
Venus is associated with the seventh sphere. Beautiful Venus – such a dazzling creative force – Mother Nature perfected – bringing ideas, joyful artistic forces, creation energy untamed – wild desires of fancy and playfulness. But unfocused, unstructured, and unbalanced in the world of form, these forces can by themselves accomplish nothing.
Mercury
Mercury is associated with the eighth sphere. Mercury’s symbol is the same as that of Venus, but with the added horns of a bull. Mercury is the intellectual planet of Hermes. Structure and intellect sound so utterly sterile and boring – and they are indeed sterile and boring when not powered by the focus of Venus. To be productive, Venus’s forces need the structure and stability, the restricting form of Mercury – but Mercury’s endless organizing and structure is meaningless when simply focused on learning. Mercury is a huge gift to creativity – not its nemesis. Mercury brings with it the sensibility to use that creative Venus energy in a meaningful way.
Moon
The Moon is associated with the ninth sphere. Mysterious moon, fountain of femininity, subconscious knowledge, and endless pulsing cycles. Moon provides a very interesting backdrop of ebb and flow, flux and reflux – a playground where we get to practice finding our balance between Venus and Mercury, between Jupiter and Mars – a playground where we can connect directly to higher self’s warehouse of hidden knowledge.
Sun
The Sun is associated with the sixth sphere. It sits right in the middle of the tree, centered in balance between all the other planets. The Sun needs no balance. It is the center of life energies as we know them. Sun is the radiator of that precious warm force of love that fuels everything. When Sun is hidden, that is darkness in every way. Light is love, the energy of creation, the energy of mediation, holding all other forces together in a way that can be amazingly balanced and productive.
Consciousness
There is one more entity in the tree that I believe is also a part of Sun’s balance. This is our divine consciousness – the awareness that is separate from our physical brain. Without this awareness, all of the world would be a mute point. Awareness itself is the creator of life. Without living intelligence, life would be unperceived. This is like the “tree falling in the forest, would it make a sound” question of philosophy.
The Universe is one huge holodeck which we repeatedly enter with each successive lifetime. (Actually we never leave it.) With every entry and exit to/from earth, our conscious memories are wiped clean, but our subconscious remains intact. The only way to leave the holodeck permanently is when we return back to the reality of the oneness that is our divine birthright.
The entire Universe is all mental, and will all eventually be withdrawn back into that state of pure oneness.
The Tree of life is an Archetypal map of the holodeck – a Universal map that is manifest from the highest spiritual realm (just below oneness) all the way down to the physical realm.
Oak Trees and Acorns
The above section is all based on my notes written between 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. this morning. I touched a few things up and added a few details for readability, but this is essentially the things I wanted to record in my journal – that I wanted to analyze for further understanding.
As I sat in meditation class this morning, I was exhausted, mentally hammered. I could hardly focus as my mind raced on at 100 miles per hour, constantly thinking about everything that I still wanted to write today. Stopping the chatter seemed as daunting as trying to stop a moving freight train with my bare hands. I finally gave up and just let the energy flow unobstructed. I felt as if the incessant chatter might soon drive me insane, and it was exhausting me.
Then, suddenly, about three minutes before our time expired, I found myself intuitively connecting with my heart. My energy suddenly returned to a calm resonating, peaceful vibration and my exhaustion simply disappeared to nothingness.
This flash of insight brought me one last item for today’s writing – the analogy of an Oak Tree and an Acorn.
The Tree of life is easily comparable to both the huge mature Oak tree and to its small nut-like seed. The tree of life shows that everything in life is a hologram – a part of the whole.
The whole tree if fully contained in the genetic information of each tiny cell. Within that miniscule acorn is a huge mature Oak Tree, just waiting to grow. Everything potential about that Oak Tree is present in that acorn; everything that is except its growth and nourishment. But given enough time and patience, a tiny acorn can and will indeed become a huge towering Oak.
Each one of us is like the acorn. The archetypal map of the Universe is buried in every one of our cells. We are literally descendants of the living stars – the stars being our ancestors up the chain of creation. Within each one of us is the destiny to become as the stars.
But, then of course, all of this is just a mental projection anyway, so anything and everything is possible.
Copyright © 2010 by Brenda Larsen, All Rights Reserved