In the past, much of my sadness and misery came from trying to control situations and outcomes that were simply out of my control. In the present, my greatest joy comes from slipping into the flow of the universe, searching for the hidden treasures that can always be found in every situation. Rather than resisting events, I am instead on a quest to flow with them, growing and learning in each precious moment.
On Tuesday, just four short mornings ago, my mother was on a rapid downhill struggle with physical mortality. As I purchased my plane tickets, I was following strong internal voices that called out to me, “Fly home for two weeks … go say goodbye to your mother … you need to make this trip … you need to make it now.”
Amazingly enough, just a few short hours after purchasing my tickets, my mother suddenly began eating again. After four days of refusing to consume any food, she began to show signs of possible recovery. The reports I continue to receive are mixed and inconsistent, but the primary message I hear from family is, “Mom is doing considerably better, but she is still quite weak.”
My ego voices are quick to say, “You are wasting your time and money on this trip. Your mother is going to be just fine … and you know you want to remain in Cozumel.”
My inner “Jedi master” voices are responding, “No … you know that you felt very strong promptings telling you to fly home … you don’t know what will happen on this trip … but you need to follow your promptings … trust the process, go home, and find out.”
As I prepare to head for the airport, I honestly have no clue what this little two-week interruption to my current adventure is all about—but I trust that whatever happens will indeed be perfect. I am making a conscious choice to surrender control—to listen to my internal heart voices and let them guide me on this path. I am compelled to follow these internal voices. Fueled only by blind faith, I am boarding a plane in just under three hours. Perhaps nothing at all will happen with my mother. Perhaps I will never know the real reason that I was guided to fly home. However, based on the strength of abundant past experience, I am secure in my trust, knowing that my internal voices will never lead me astray.
As we celebrate the birth of our political freedom on this beautiful Fourth of July, I choose to continue to celebrate the incredible gifts that emanate from within—the freedom, love, and peace that are my constant companions when I listen to my own heart and soul. Yes, I choose to “Trust the Process.”
© Brenda Larsen, 2009